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I'm Not Letting Go~~Chapter 7
As promised, Chapter 7 of I'm Not Letting Go. Enjoy! ~~Leslie ♥♥ We sat that way for the longest time with out ryes closed, but still holding onto one another as if a life preserver in a storm. " I've needed you my whole life." Michael whispered. " I'm here now." I answered. " Yes, yes you are," he said now looking into my eyes," I'm not letting you go." "Well, it COULD make it difficult when one of us needs to use the bathroom--" I teased. He laughed," Okay, only bathroom breaks." " Whew! Had me worried there." Michael laughed again," You're silly sometimes." " Thank you, I try." " Y'know, we might as well turn off the movie. We don't seem to be too interested in it," he said," I can't imagine why." " Oh, me either..." I smiled," Michael--" " Yes?" " I wish everyone could know you the way I do. Your kindness, your caring, your compassion," I said to him," You have such a wonderful heart full of love..." " Thank you, Leslie, that's very kind." " It's very true." I replied," Here you are the biggest entertainer in the world, and yet you sit with me for hours every week while I get my chemotherapy...and I'm nobody special." " Oh, never say that! You're very special. I think you're an amazing, incredible lady. It's a true joy for me to be near you. " " Gosh, I hope I can live up to your expectations of me." " You exceed them already," he said with a smile," I bet it takes an awful lot to make you angry, doesn't it?" " Usually," I answered," Then I get quiet." " I'll remember that for future reference." he grinned. " I can't imagine getting angry with you," I smiled," Michael, when did your vitiligo start?" " Oh, sometime between Thriller and Bad. I couldn't figure out what was happening. I just knew my skin was changing colors." " My husband had tinea versicolor on his back, where his pigment would change color." I said. " Really? So you understand vitiligo then?" " Uh huh," I nodded," I do. But y'know in my heart I've always thought your changes in color are just another dimension to your heart--" "Whaddo you mean?" he asked. " Well, you've alwys tried to bring the world together--blacks and whites, and with the vitiligo, you're a black man who looks white. You're not defined by color. You're colorless...and that's how people should view the people of the world. Colorless." Michael's eyes were full of tears," You get it...you really get it..." I smiled," Yeah, I think so." " Ohh my lady," he said gently and began to kiss me again, passionately, but tenderly, whispering between kisses," I love you--" " I love you." I'd answer back when our lips would separate. Gently, Michael kissed my face and eyelids. His gestures were so sweet, honest and genuine. " Would you go on a date with me?" he asked. " Of course." " Yeah?" he smiled. " Yeah." " I wish it could be more of what I would plan for us in California, but I'll still make it a wonderful evening." " I know you will." I smiled at him and he chuckled. " What?" He asked. " What what?" I replied. " You're just looking at me smiling." he answered. " Oh, I'm still just amazed. My chemo buddy is Michael Jackson, who's very much alive and well. And we've grown to love one another. I would never have imagined this in a million years." " To be honest, me either," he smiled," The LAST thing I needed now is to fall in love and expect her to not go crazy when I have to go back to my insane life." " ...you're in love with me?" I asked softly. "...isn't it obvious?" he said gently with a little smile. " ...Michael..." " Shhh," he placed his fingers to my lips and looked into my eyes, not seeming a bit shy." I'm in love with you, Leslie. With everything inside me, I love you and want to make your world the best it can be." " ...there is that one little reality though, Michael. I may not survive this cancer." " You have to," he said," I've waited my entire life to find the right girl for me and I've found her. I'm not letting go." " You may not have a choice one day." I said. " Shh, none of that talk. If it ever comes to pass that the fight isn't working, then we cherish what we have and hold onto the friendship and love we have between us. And I will be there by your side through it all. Every step you take, I take with you." " This is just so hard to believe--" " What is?" " Loving one another..." I said. He smiled," Oh, I think it's easy to believe. We are just so amazingly in tune with one another...I have such a wonderful time with you. You make my heart happy and my loneliness disappear. That's no small feat, honey." I smiled," You called me honey." " Is that okay?" he asked quickly. " Of course it's okay, I answered him and he smiled at me, then kissed my cheek. " You know, I had no intention of telling you how I was feeling when you agreed to come stay a couple of days. I just wanted to take care of you." " And you have--very well too." " I wish you could stay for good." he said tracing a finger over my hand. " So Garfield and Odie can be together." I grinned. He chuckled," Exactly, Garfield." "Thank you, Odie." I grinned back. " Leslie?" " Yes?" " When I have to go back and resume my crazy life, there's going to be so much garbage written about me--promise me you won't believe any of it." " Oh, of course I won't. You've been completely honest with me and I have no reason to ever not trust you or believe you. Besides, you've told me the why'd and I believe you. So I know the real Michael Jackson. He's the one I believe." He hugged me to him," You'll never know what that means to me..." " I think I already do." I answered him and he continued to hold me close to him. " This just feels so right," he whispered," It's so easy and I feel so at peace with you in my arms...you know, I've always been painfully shy around girls...but around you I feel strong and secure," he said and cupped my cheek, looking now into my eyes," Your eyes are so beautiful...I just wish I could make the sadness in them disappear." " You help make it a lot less," I said," Your joy comes through..." " What about my love?" " You emit love, Michael. Gentleness and love." He smiled," Thank you. Now if my love could just cure you..." " That would be so nice..." " If only I could, Leslie," he said tenderly," All the money in the world and I can't heal you." " I don't want your money, Michael. Just what we have." " Well, you're gonna have to indulge me a bit now and then. I like to give things to people who are in my heart. And you girl are in there and making house." he smiled. I laughed," Oh I am, hmmm?" " You are," he said and softly ran his hand over my cheek and down to the side of my neck, then back up to my cheek," You're beautiful, do you know that." I blushed," I'm not, but thank you." " You are. Beautiful inside and out..." he said to me and we held to one another again," I just can't stop holding you," he said with a smile," It just feels so right...I'm going to drive you crazy, aren't I?" he chuckled. " Nope," I answered," This IS nice." " Yes, it is. I could hold you the rest of my life." " I just may let you..." I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. " Oh," he said quickly," It's after 2am. You need to try to rest. I've kept you up much too late..." " Have I complained?" I smiled. " No," he stood and pulled me up to my feet," But you do need to try to sleep. C'mon, I'll walk you to your room." Michael gently clasped my hand and walked me to my bedroom door. His hands held both of mine and his chocolate eyes sparkled as he looked at me," If you need anything, I'll only be a heartbeat away, okay?" " Okay." I smiled. " Well..." " Well..." I echoed and we giggled. Michael hugged me," I love you Leslie. You rest well, okay?" " I will...and I love you too." We shared three soft quick kisses and his eyes searched mine, " Yes?" I asked. " ...I just hate leaving you alone." he confessed. " It won't be too long." "...could I just sit with you until you fall asleep?" he asked quietly," No funny stuff, I promise." " Go get comfortable then come back." I told him with a smile. I didn't doubt him or his sincerity. Not for a moment. I changed into my favorite lilac colored, floor length nightgown and got into bed. It felt good to lay down again. A soft knock came to the door," Leslie?" " C'mon in, Michael." Michael came in wearing a t-shirt and pj bottoms and he smiled as he sat down beside me. " That's a beautiful color. It really brings out the green in your eyes." " Thank you," I answered and he folded his legs indian-style as he sat beside me. " Michael-" " Yes?" " You can lie down if you want to." I said. " Are you sure?" " Yes, I'm sure." I smiled. Michael layed down beside me, facing me with his head propped up on his arm. He was smiling looking at me and I smiled back. " What's with the smile?" I asked. " I'm just happy." he answered. I chuckled," I'm glad you are." " I am so happy," he said," That I wish I could shout from the rooftops,'I'm in love with an angel', he giggled," A beautiful angel without wings, so she can't fly away from me." " Awww, that's very sweet." " ...you know...there IS one thing you haven't told me..." " Oh? What's that?" I asked. " ...you haven't told me if you're in love with me too." " I haven't?" I replied. " No...but it's okay..." he said quietly, as if he feared my answer would be no. " Michael," I said softly as he was looking away. " Yes?" he said, now looking at me. With that, I moved closer to him and began to kiss him, softly at first, but then deeper and hungrier as our arms held one another and I felt his kisses on the side of my neck. " Tell me..." he whispered. " I'm in love with you." I answered. " Tell me again." he said tenderly in my ear. " I'm in love with you--" I whispered and still his kisses lingered on the side of my neck until he kissed a path to my lips and he held me tenderly, sighing heavily. " I uh...I'm afraid I got a little carried away there...forgive me?" " There's nothing to forgive," I told him," Nothing." " I love you..." he said to me and his fingertips nervously traced the V neckline of my gown. His eyes watched his fingers and he sighed again," This is all so new to me...all of these feelings and emotions..." " You're doing fine--" I told him softly and gave him a soft quick kiss, then moved so I was cuddled to him and he slipped his arm around my shoulders. " Now, this is perfect." he said happily. " Mmmm hmmm..." I agreed. " Goodnight, my beautiful lady." " G'night, Michael." I answered. It was another one of those nights where the chemo hit hard. Nausea, vomiting--all the fun stuff. And I couldn't sleep. Not a wink. Michael got up with me each time and never left my side. How did I fall in love with Michael Jackson? I'd never even really been a fan, but here I was in love with him. I never would have imagined it. Not in a million years. Yet there it was.
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