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I'm Not Letting Go~~Chapter 6
Ready for Chapter 6? Be sure to read the previous chapters to see how the story has evolved and reached this point! Enjoy! ~Leslie I looked over at Michael and it was as if he could feel my eyes looking at him. He turned to look at me, this time not looking away. His hands again gently clutched my shoulders and he squeezed them softly," Leslie, I'm so glad you're here." he said with his voice nearly a whisper, then he leaned in closer-- his lips hovering over mine, barely touching them, then he kissed me. It was tender like the previous one, but this time as he slowly pulled his lips away, he quickly brought them back and kissed me harder, not hard and crushing, but romantic and loving. And when it ended he leaned his forehead against mine and held my hands with his eyes closed. " ...I've wanted to kiss you for days..." he confessed quietly," I feel so close to you." " ...I do to you too, Michael." I answered him and he squeezed my hands. " I'm so glad..." he answered and moved his face from mine and looked into my eyes and smiled a bashful smile," Y'know, you're the first girl I've really kissed in about 4 years." " That's a long time." " It was worth the wait," he blushed," You have soft lips." " Stop it," I blushed and we both giggled. " So, did Barry kiss you like that?" he grinned. " What IS this fixation you have for Barry and kissing?" I laughed," You want to kiss him or something?" He laughed," Not hardly! I want to kiss you." I smiled," You did." " I meant again, silly." " I dunno, you start that Barry stuff again--" I teased him. " Only cuz I'm jealous," he smiled," He got to kiss you-" " So did you." I answered. " Yeah, but he got to first," he smiled," And YOU liked it!" " Oh will you shut up?" I laughed. " Shut me up." he played. I playfully grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him toward me, kissing him once kind of hard and quick, then giving him a little shove away," There." I smiled. " Yeah baby, bring it on!" he laughed. I laughed too and he sat up, wrapping his arm around my shoulders," Well, now that I've ruined our Scrabble game, wanna watch a movie?" " Sure." " Any requests?" he asked. " Just no Exorcist or Halloween--the music creeps me out." " The music does?" " Uh huh. I can't even stand to hear parts of it. It stays in my head for days and really creeps me out." " Well then, no creeping you out." he said and got up putting in The house on Haunted Hill." This one ok?" " Uh huh." I answered. " Good," he turned off the lights and sat down beside me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and he held my hand with his other hand," Is it alright?" he asked. " Yes, fine." I answered. As we watched the film, I wondered about this new dimension to our relationship. We were friends--good ones. But also there was this sudden physical affection between us. I knew he was lonely and I figured the hugs and hand holding was just his way of not feeling alone. And I didn't mind at all. I trusted Michael completely and didn't feel threatened by anything he did. " ...hey Leslie..." " Hmmm?" " Can I tell you something?" he asked quietly. " Of course, anything." I answered him. " ...I love you." he said softly. I smiled, looking at him," I love you too, Michael." And I did. He was my friend and we had so much fun together, of course I'd grown to love him. " Really?" he smiled shyly. " Really." I answered and his hand released mine and came up to cradle the side of my cheek. He leaned over and kissed me softly several times, then sighed a heavy sigh when he stopped. " ...this feels so right, Leslie...but I don't want to mess up our friendship.." " Nothing will ever do that, Michael. We've shared so much...we know each other inside--in the heart where it counts. So don't worry." He smiled tenderly," Say it again for me." " Say what?" I asked. " That you love me." I smiled," I love you." He smiled a big smile," I love you more." " Is this a competition?" I teased. " Nope," he laughed," True confessions...you know, you have the most incredible eyes..." " And you have the most beautiful smile." " Thank you," he replied," Actually, I love everything about you...except your cancer...but it did bring us together." " Yeah, I suppose that's the only good thing about it." " Well, now it can go away." he said. " I wish it would." I agreed. " I do too." he said and held my hand again, this time lacing his fingers with mine. Being there with Michael was so comfortable, so peaceful and easy. I felt a very special love for him...one I knew could easily grow into much much more. " Leslie?" " Hmm?" " ...if I were to ask you to come back to California with me, would you do it?" he asked. " Move to California?" I asked. " Yes," he nodded," With me. When I have to go back." " Oh Michael, I dunno. Your life is gonna be insane when you go home--" " I know, and I feel guilty for even asking you to be in it...but you mean so much to me and you help me so much...I would love to have you there every day. We could get a medical facility for your chemo and you'd have the best of everything--" he said," I love you and I don't want us states apart." " I dunno, Michael. You are going to be absolutely overwhelmed by everything when you go home--you don't need to have to worry about me, too. You're going to have your family and your kids and--" " And I need you there too. I feel so much for you inside my heart. We're so connected and for all the right reasons--we think alike, we believe alike--I have fun with you, yet I can sit and be real with you...and I love kissing you," he blushed," It just feels so right." " ...can I think about it?" " Of course. Take all the time you need to say yes." he smiled. I smiled too and his eyes held mine," I really do love you. I've never felt this way about anyone before...never..." " Weren't you in love when you got married?" I asked," I'm sorry, that's none of my business---" " No, don't be silly, you can ask me anything. And the answer is no. With Lisa we were friends and we figured it seemed like a good idea, but once we got married we argued ALL the time. We didn't really know each other at all. And Debbie was a friend who was doing me a big favor and I wanted the kids to be born with a mother and father. There was no great love there. Trust me." he confessed," Now, you on the other hand, I know what I feel for you and I know this is real. I don't want to lose you." " Well, you won't lose me whether we're in the same place or not," I smiled," You're my chemo buddy." " ...is that all I am?" he asked. " ...no, of course it's not all.' I said and touched his cheek," I never expected to love you." He smiled," I love hearing you say you love me. Tell me again." I smiled," I love you." " I love you more," he replied," You know Leslie, millions of people shout and write and tell me they love me, but they don't really know me. They know what I put out there--what I give-- what I do. But you KNOW me--the REAL me--so when you tell me you love me, I know it's real and sincere and that you really DO love ME. You have no idea what that means to me. It touches me so very deeply." " I'm glad I can make your heart a little less lonely..." " A little?" he chuckled," Girl, I'm not lonely now. When you and I aren't together I miss you like crazy, but I'm not lonely because you're inside my heart. I carry you in here," he touched his chest," And I won't, I can't let that go." " You're so very sweet," I told him and his hands slipped up my arms, again clutching my shoulders. " I've GOT to kiss you again," he whispered to me as he leaned in close,' Is it okay?" I smiled," Are you gonna ask permission every time you want a kiss?" He blushed," Well I don't want to do anything to offend you--" " You won't." I answered," So kiss me." " Oooh, say that again." he grinned. " What?" I smiled. " Kiss me." " Kiss me." I answered him and he did, this time with tenderness, yet a bit of passion and desire as I felt the tip of his tongue trace between my lips. Quickly, he pulled away and looked down," I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so carried away." " Michael," I lifted his chin with my fingertips," It's okay. It's just a kiss." "...I could kiss you forever." he confessed. " Not if you keep pulling away to apologize." I smiled back. He giggled and clutched my hands in his then pulled me to him," No more apologies," he said then began to kiss me. And he kissed me in a way I never expected...tender at first, then quickly growing passionate as his tongue parted my lips and our tongues danced together, our arms holding one another closer and tighter for the longest time, then our kiss slowly ended and we sat wrapped in each other's arms. " ...now that was beautiful." he whispered. " Mmm hmmm." I muttered back. " I love you so much." " I love you too..." I said laying my head on his shoulder.
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