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So Lovely(PART36) by Candice

DAYS

WEEKS

MONTHS

The media already knew what was going on. The tabloids were rubbing it in and 
Michael didnâ??t like it. The papers usually said â??MICHAEL JACKSON- Ready to be a 
widow?â? It infuriated him seeing this headline all the time. I was already going 
through treatment and sad to say, we werenâ??t able to push through with the 
December wedding since my condition was already getting worse by the minute, but 
who cares? We were already married anyway. Michael didnâ??t want me to get 
treatment in the hospital, so he hired my very own doctor and nurse and he made a 
small hospital room in our home.

I lay there, weak and quiet as I felt the chemotherapyâ??s agonizing pain. I was 
bruised all over and I was getting terribly thin and pallor. Michael never left my side 
and he made sure my doctor and my nurse tended me to very well. I never really 
had the chance to stand up that much anymore. â??Mt god, youâ??re so lovely.â? Michael 
said as he held my hand. â??How are you feeling?â? he added. â??I feel good. Iâ??m fine and 
guess what, I miss going out. Can you take me to the garden?â? I replied as I reached 
out for him to give him a kiss. Michael smiled and helped me up to the wheelchair. 
â??Alright, Iâ??ll take you there.â?

Michael placed the wheelchair beside the bench and he sat down, looking at me. â??Is 
it painful?â? He asked. I nodded my head and I gave him a weak smile. â??It is, but I 
need itâ? I answered. He took my hand and kissed it. â??I know Iâ??m not supposed to be 
saying this, but I canâ??t take it. I donâ??t like seeing you like this.â? He was a bit 
agonized. â??You have to be strong because I get my strength from you.â? I answered 
with a kiss on the cheek. I tried to stand up and sit beside him on the bench. I put 
my head on his shoulder and I was singing to him. I didnâ??t really sing that much but 
I did experience singing in the choir for a while as a child. I was singing his song 
called THE WAY YOU LOVE ME. This cheered him up a little bit and it wasnâ??t long 
before he was already singing it with me. â??Help me upâ? I said as I looked at him. I 
wanted to stand up and it was hard and challenging. I missed dancing and so I tried 
my very best. I was almost about to it until suddenly, I fell flat on the ground. 
â??Candice!â? Michael reached out for me. I was laughing. â??Iâ??m sorry. It was silly of me 
to even attempt to dance. I just miss dancing so much.â? I explained as I dusted off 
the dirt that got caught in my clothes. â??Well you shouldnâ??t attempt. Youâ??re too weak 
for that.â? Michael showed a hint of disappointment. I let out a deep sigh. I looked at 
the sky and I noticed that the sun was already setting. â??I wonder how it feelsâ? I said 
as I looked up at the sky. Michael was looking at me and he knew what I meant. 
â??Stop it.â? He immediately said. I looked down and I started to cry. â??I donâ??t think I 
can still keep up with the pain.â? I confessed. The pain was very agonizing and I 
knew that the treatment was useless because I was getting worse. â??You said youâ??d 
fight itâ? Michael sounded like a little kid. He was on the verge of crying. â??I know. I 
wouldnâ??t be here if I hadnâ??t fought it. Iâ??m just saying that itâ??s already too painful and 
I donâ??t think I could make it, Michael.â? I replied as I continued to cry. I wasnâ??t 
looking at him. I was looking down, ashamed of what I had realized. That moment 
was the moment of my tragic realization, and I knew right then and there that the 
end was near.

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