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Journey to Defining 16
<3 Im In the Mood For A Story :D - Nadirah It's 1976 and here I am alone. I had nobody... It felt like I had nothing to live for anymore. My baby was gone.. Dead. I couldn't even bare to continue on. It's been a year since she's been gone. I am currently supposed to be in my last year of high school... but I had to drop out. I was missing too many classes and I didn't have enough credits to graduate. All there was to do was lay at home and cry. Completely distancing myself from the world, my parents started to worry. They knew what I was going through but they feared that I would hurt. Since that "Day" I haven't spoken to the Jackson family. I didn't want any contact with me because they just reminded me of bad times. Michael and Tito would try to come over but my parents sent them away. After awhile they stopped trying. For Jackie... he is currently spending life in jail. I felt that wasn't enough for him. It was 2 in the afternoon and I was laying in my bed...shades completely closed and covers over my face. I hear my door creek open... I knew it had to be one of my parents.. Mom:(slowly walking to me and sitting on my bed) Nadirah Me: .... Mom: Nadirah sweetie, you have to get out of this room Me:(pulling the covers off me) and for what... theres no reason to Mom:(rubbing my back) You laying in here in the dark is depressing, this isn't getting you anywhere. It sure won't make you feel better Me: Feel better about what mom.. that my Goddamn child is dead, the person who I thought I loved was a crazy woman beater who killed our first born. If you expect me to feel better about that...you have another thing coming *starts crying* Mom:(holds me) I know how you feel Nadirah and trust me it will get better. Nothing bad last forever. I don't expect you to just jump up and smile at everyone you come in contact with... but you need to get out. Get some fresh air.. Trust me Me:( bawling) How do you know how I feel huh.. Have you lost a child??? I just can't continue on mom. I honestly feel like dying. Mom: Judson.. Me:(turns to her)What?? whose Judson? Mom: that was you're brother *sighs* He died while I was giving birth to him. He would have been you're older brother... I felt so empty inside when I found out he wasn't going to live. The same thing you are doing... that was exactly me. It was hard but I got through it. God has blessed me with a beautiful daughter after him. When I found out I was pregnant again, I was so scared, I didnt want the same thing to happen again... But my prayers were answered and now you're here and I couldn't be any happier. And yes ofcourse I wish Judson was still here.. but he's not. Him and Shawnee are together. Me:(crying and hugging her) I'm so sorry mom... I love you so much. I don't want to disappoint you or dad. Mom: Trust me you aren't... you stayed this strong for so long. After all you been through. (wiping tears away).Okay but enough of this sob talking, you have a visitor downstairs for you. I slowly get out of bed and wipe my face. I straighten myself up and go downstairs. Come to find out it was Marlon. He was the last person who I thought about seeing. Marlon:(getting up and smiling big) There she goes... come here and give me a hug. It's been too long. Me: Wow.. what are you doing here Marlon: That's all I get... A "What are you doing here". Sheesh I feel so loved. Me:(laughing) I'm sorry I didn't mean it in a bad way. It's just ..yeah... how are you and the family. Marlon: we are pretty good actually...getting through some things but we always pull through. You know we miss you Me: Yeah I know.. it's just I been out of it Marlon: I Know.. but all we want to do is make you feel better and be there for you. You should come over. Me: ahhh Marlon I don't think im ready for that Marlon: aww come on, it's not going to be as bad as you think... I promise. Just trust me *grabs my hand* Me: *thinks* Mmmmm... Okay fine Marlon: Yesss... the family is going to be sooo happy I get my shoes on and we are out the door. We hop in the car and head over. After a few we were finally there. My heart was beating so fast. I havent seen these people since the incident. I got out the car and walked to front door with Marlon. As Marlon opened the door, you can see the whole family in the living room. They quickly turn to me and everybody just started charging towards me... but Michael wasnt there. Momma Katherine: Omg Nadirah, we missed you so much (hugging me tightly then calls out For Michael) Michael slowly walks down the stairs without paying attention. I look at Michael... I realize how much his face and body has Matured. He looks so different from last yr. I could resist but to keep staring. He was walking with his head down until his head shotted toward me. The shine on his face was indescribable. he immediately came to me and lifted me up while spinning me around.When he put me down my sweater arm lifted up.. and then that's when the stares started to happen. They seen they cuts on my arms. I quickly pull it down and sit on the couch.Michael walks toward me and sits down. He gives me a kiss on the cheek... then the phone suddenly starts to ring. Momma Katherine rushes to answer it. While the family was trying to catch up with me. I watch Momma Katherines Expressions on the phone, from a smile to a horrible frown, I knew something was wrong. She couldnt even put the phone on the hook when she was done. She had her hand to heart whole she was walking back. Me:(interrupting) Whats Wrong?? Momma Katherine: I.. I.. I honestly don't know what to say or do Rebbie:Whats wrong Mother, you're scaring me Momma Katherine: Joe is um... Joe just called and said he... Jermaine: He said what Mother??? Momma Katherine: He said he bailed Jackie out of jail and now there on there way here... Me: ... To Be Continued... Thanks For Reading <3 :)
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