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I'm Not Letting Go~~Chapter 2
" So, your blood work isn't great," Kim told me as I sat in my usual spot," Red blood count, white count, platelets--" " And that means--" I said. " That means your immune system isn't doing so hot. I'm gonna have to ask the doctor if you're okay to have chemo today." I sighed. Great. What's next? A few minutes later Kim returned, " Okay, we can do this but your dose has to be cut down. Too, you're almost where you'll need a blood transfusion--" " Oh great," I sighed," My blood type is rare." " What are you?" she asked. " AB positive." I replied. " Yep, that's a rare one for sure. I'll have to give the blood bank a call just to be one step ahead. AB positive, right?" " Right." " I'm AB positive." A now familiar voice said from the doorway. Michael." Can I help?" " Maybe," Kim answered, starting my first bag of medicines," Okay honey, this is your benedryl." " Thanks Kim." I said," Hi Michael." " Hi," he said," What's this about the blood bank?" " They said my blood work is bad and I might need a transfusion." I answered somberly. He sighed," I'm sorry...but I really am AB positive. If I can help you, I'd like to." " Thank you." I answered. " You don't look like you feel so hot today. Your pretty green eyes aren't sparkling like they always do." " I don't feel very sparkly either." Michael moved his chair nearer to where I saw, instead of leaving it in it's usual spot," Y'know, I'm worried about you." " I'll be okay. I probably just need to eat more than I have been and sleep more--" " Did you sleep last night?" he asked. " About 25 minutes." I answered. " Girl, you need rest." he said. " I'd LOVE to sleep, Michael. Like I told you, nothing works." " Maybe I can help you." he said. " You're gonna hit me over the head with a heavy object?" I smiled," Oh PLEASE do!" " No," he giggled," I have a--friend who had insomnia...like yours. Tried everything. Even heavy sedatives. He started seeing a hypnotherapist--sleeps like a baby now." " Oh, I'm sure I can't afford anything like that." I replied. " He uh, he doesn't charge cancer patients." " Really?" I said, " Well, maybe it's worth a try then." " Good. I'll make sure you have his number by the time you head for home today, okay?" " Okay, thank you Michael." I said. " No thanks needed." he said with a smile. " You know, you don't talk much about yourself." I told him. " Oh, I'm not too interesting, but what would you like to know? " he asked. " Well, how'd you come to start impersonating Michael Jackson?" " Oh, it just kinda happened," he said," How'd you come to be a bakery manager?" " I got in it for the dough." I replied and Michael started laughing. He laughed so much that he finally covered his mouth to keep his laughter quieter,"Ohh," he said holding his stomach,"That was a good one." " You are easily amused." I answered him, smiling. Kim returned with my second bag of meds and smiled," Well, sounds like you're having fun in here." " We are." I answered her. " You're the impersonator guy, right?" she said to Michael. " Right." " Well,we were kinda wondering if you'd show us the moonwalk-- if you can do it." she said. " Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure I can." he said and went to the hall outside my door. Fortunately, my IV lines were long enough that I could go to the doorway to watch. All the nurses stood around and Michael began the moonwalk from one end of the hallway to the other. When he stopped they applauded and he took a little bow then came back to my room and I headed back to my seat. " Hey, you got to watch." he smiled. " Uh huh, that was great. How the HECK do you do that?" I asked him. " Wheels." he teased. " Ohhh wheels." I smiled. " Ok, ok, not wheels. It's all in weight transfer. I could teach you." " Oh that's okay, I'm not much of a dancer. I have an ankle problem. I had a surgery that left me with ruptured tendons." " Ow, that must hurt." " Yeah it does. But really Michael, you were great." I smiled. " Thank you, I appreciate that." he said, looking again at my wedding rings," Do you have kids, Leslie?" " No, we never seemed to be able to have kids." He looked at me sadly and sighed," Boy, I know how to say the wrong thing, don't I?" " No, you're fine, Michael." I answered him," What about you? Married? Kids?" It seemed odd that I didn't know something so simple about him. " No more wife, but 3 beautiful kids." he beamed. " Oh it must be great being a Dad." " It's the best thing in the world. Their little smiles melt my heart," he said," I miss them so much. They've been staying with my mother for a little while, but I'll see them soon." he said with misty eyes and a smile," I'll have to go back to LA in a while." " You're from LA?" " Well not originally, but that's where I live." " Oh...I dunno why I just assumed you lived here--" " Well, I have for a little while...but eventually I've gotta get back to reality." he said. " I'm losing my chemo buddy." I pouted, teasing him. " Never," he said, touching my hand," We're friends," he gave my hand a squeeze and smiled," Right?" " Right." I answered. And he WAS my chemo buddy and I enjoyed his being there every week, spending all 4 hours each time talking about everything. He was turning into quite a friend. * * The next week was difficult. The doctor said the chemo wasn't helping and the tumor had grown in size. She also said it was now trying to attach to my liver. She ordered different chemo drugs and sent me to get my treatment. When Kim came in she said she saw the chemo change and asked me why. I told her and felt tears in my eyes. I felt beyond discouraged. She gave me a hug and told me not to give up then went to get my meds. " Hey you--" Came Michael's cheerful voice in the doorway and instantly his smile faded and he pulled his chair near mine," What's wrong?" " The chemo's not working. The tumor grew. It's attacking my liver now." I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. " C'mere," Michael said standing up and pulling my hand. He pulled me into his arms and his hand stroked the back of my hair, " It's gonna be okay, Leslie." he said gently. " I'm scared, Michael." I whispered. " I know you are...I am too," he said and we moved apart, but he held each of my hands as he looked into my eyes," You gotta stay strong and fight this demon...don't let it win..." " I feel defeated." I confessed. " You are if you give up hope...don't you dare give up fighting. You're strong. You've been through so much and still you're a beautiful, charming, fascinating woman. Don't take that away from the world or from me. You're my friend, a real friend...and I don't wanna lose you." Tears were in his eyes and mine as we stood there, still holding each other's hands and Kim returned with my meds. " I'm sorry guys, I need to get this started and Leslie, I need you to read these papers, keep those and sign this." " Okay." I answered as she began my IV drip and Michael sat beside me," So these are about my new chemo meds and this...a consent." I sighed," I HATE this." " I know, I do too." Michael said," Um," he laid his hand atop mine and held on," I was thinking that since it's a beautiful day outside, when you're done today, maybe we could find a park and talk a while." " Talk?" I chuckled," Michael we talk for hours." " Yeah, but not here this time. Somewhere pretty--away from this place. We could grab lunch and take it along." " That sounds nice,"I said," And I know a park not too far from here. It has a lake with ducks and seagulls--I like to feed them." I smiled. " That sounds like fun. We'll pick up some duckie food to take along." he smiled. " Thank you, Michael." I said, leaning over to kiss his cheek softly. He blushed with a little smile," What'd I do to be thanked with a kiss?" " Just for being you and being here." He smiled," You know, in Europe, people--friends--kiss each other on both cheeks." He kind of looked up at the ceiling innocently and I chuckled and kissed his other cheek, then he kissed each of mine and smiled at me," Y'know, just for the record, we're not in Europe....just for the record." " We'll, I'll never get there, so you're set if you ever do." He laughed," Thank you." After chemo, I told Michael I'd show him the way to where we were headed and to follow me in his car. The first stop was the market where his driver went in and bought bread for us to feed the ducks, then a quick stop at Subway for our lunch and finally to the park. We parked next to each other and he was quick to get my door and help me out. " Now THIS is a great park!" he exclaimed," Secluded." " It's always peaceful here," I said," That's one reason I like it so much." " I can understand why," he said," C'mon." Carrying our lunch and a loaf of bread for the ducks, we headed to one of the tables and sat down across from one another. Neither of us ate ery much but we still talked and talked until he got up and began to pace a bit. " Michael? You okay?" I asked. " Huh? Oh yeah, fine," he smiled and sat back down," We're friends, right?" " Right." " I mean REALLY friends, GOOD friends, right?" " Right." I answered again. " So I can trust you, right?" " Right." I said," Are you going somewhere with this?" I asked with a smile. He got up and walked to my side of the table and sat down next to me," Leslie, I'm Michael Jackson. The REAL Michael Jackson." I just looked at him. Michael Jackson was dead. He died in June. " I know, I sound crazy," he continued," I really am him." There were autopsies, funeral, a memorial--Michael Jackson was dead. I still said nothing but just looked at Michael. He sighed," I swear I'm not crazy. It's true. Here--" he said taking out his wallet and beginning to flip through the contents, showing me," My driver's license, my social security card, credit cards, here's my kids, my Mother--" " Michael Jackson died." I said finally. " Do I look dead?" he asked with a little smile," I know I'm pale, but I'm not a ghost." " There were autopsies, a funeral, a big memorial---the doctor is charged with involuntary manslaughter--" I said. " It's a long story and I wanna tell you everything, but I want you to tell me you believe me." he said. " ...Michael, it's just too far fetched and--" I began to laugh," And you're being a smartass just to make me laugh and cheer up." " What?" he seemed shocked. " Y'know, I'm pretty worn out, so I'm gonna let you handle the ducks on your own. But," I stood up," I thank you for lunch and the support, Michael." I started to walk toward my car and Michael followed. " Hey wait--Leslie, I'm not kidding---don't go, please?" " I've got to, I'm really exhausted," I said and kissed his cheek," Only one, we're not in Europe." I told him then got into my car and left.
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