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Journey to Defining 10
I looked at the Doctor then I looked at Jackie...Anything and Everything was going through my mind like if the baby was going to choke and maybe die.I couldnt live with myself if that happened to me.Jackie clenched onto my hand...Some more Doctors came into the room and now i was panicking.One of the machines started to go out of control..it kept making these really fast beeping noises.. Doctor: Nadirah i need you to relax Me:how am i supposed to relax, my babies in Danger Doctor:you need to in order for that machine to slow down I let out a deep breath and thought of something somewhat relaxed,to tell you the truth of i was thinking about Michael...the machine started to slow down and now the doctor opened my legs even more Doctor: what im going to do is try to untie the Umbilical Cord from the babies neck okay Me:(letting out a tear and nodding my head) Doctor:try not to push Jackie was standing there watching them trying to untie The Umbilicord Cord from the babies neck.He clinched my hand tighter and tighter each time.I felt alot of movement down there.I heard the baby start crying and that made me want to cry even more.The Doctoer got up and put what it seemed like scissors back into this tray.He sat back down and gave me a smile... Doctor: Everything is good,we got the Cord from around the babies neck..but now you need to really start pushing. My Mom was next to me with her eyes wide open and Jackie looked at me with a smile...I started to push and i could feel the baby coming out further. Doctor:come on Nadirah just one more push and the babies here Jackie:come on baby you can do it I clinched on to Jackie's hand really hard and gave one last push.I heard the baby crying and i saw the Doctor lifting the baby up for me to see.My mom was clapping her hands and Jackie kept giving me pecks on my lips.. Doctor: wowwww you have a beautiful baby girl Me:(cheesing) They took the baby into the corner where they were cleaning her up and getting her together.After about a few minutes they brought her back and put her into my arms.Jackie was standing over me smiling and looking at his daughter.... Jackie:you did it..im proud of you baby(kissing me) Me:I Love You Jackie Jackie:I Love You Too Mom:(coming closer) what are you going to name her Me:(looking up at the ceiling) Shawnee Katarzyna Jackson Mom:(practically crying) awww after your father,he will be proud Jackie:Your Father??? Me:yeah his name was Shawn...I just wish he was here to see his Granddaughter Mom:dont worry he is here with you Me:(smiling and looking at Jackie) About 2 hours have passed and Jackie was holding the baby.The Jackson Family came in and came closer to the baby.. Ms.Katherine:awwwww let me hold my Grand Baby(taking the baby from Jackie's hands) Marlon:is it a boy or girl Randy:its a girl cant you see she's wearing pink, come on even i knew that(shaking his head) Everybody:(laughing) Ms.Katherine:(sitting down and rocking the baby) She looks just like you Jackie Tito:(looking over) she looks like Michael to me Me:I think she looks like my Father Mom:well she looks like a bit of everybody One of the nurses came in and interrupted... Nurse:i think i should tell you this in private Me:tell me what Nurse:(looking at Everybody) The Family got up and walked out of the room..it was just me and Jackie in there now. Me:whats wrong Nurse:Since the baby is 1 month early which you may know already that she's Premature..so we have to keep her here a alittle longer Me:(tears coming my eyes) Jackie:(hugging me) its okay Nadirah..Shawnee is going to be alright Nurse:yes theres no need to worry she just needs more check ups and you can bring her home in a couple of weeks...maybe 2 weeks the shortest... Jackie left the room and told The Family the news.They took it well..because they knew she was going to be okay...Its been 2 weeks and finally i could take Shawnee home..She just needed to grow alittle more...They been said i could go home but I didnt want to leave my baby so i stayed there the whole 2 weeks.I got my things together and Jackie helped me carry them out.They pulled out a wheelchair and i picked up Shawnee and sat down.Jackie wheeled me out to his car and put baby Shawnee in her car seat.I got in the car and we were off.I didnt really say anything to Jackie..as usual i just started to look out the window..I couldnt believe i was a Mommy..I thought we were going to my house or either his house but we were going somewhere wayy different..nothing looked familiar Me:Jackie where are we going Jackie:(smiling) you'll see We drove for a short minute then we stopped,he parked his car somewhere that looked vacant. Jackie:close your eyes Me:Jackie where are we Jackie:just close your eyes Nadirah And that i did... i closed my eyes...I heard him getting out the car.I also heard him getting the baby out too,he shut the door and now it was really quiet.I heard my side of the door open and Jackie helped me out the car..he covered my eyes and started leading me somewhere..we walked more farther and then he stopped..he took his hands off my eyes... Jackie: open your eyes... I opened my eyes and there was this beautiful big house right there in my face..I look at Jackie in shock Me:Jackie whats this Jackie:Our House Me:are you serious since when Jackie:since now and well last week Me:(hugging him) Omg Thank You So Much..but wait what am i gonna tell my Mom Jackie:everything is handled,she said it was good Me:(excited) woww i cant believe this Jackie took my hand and led me into the house.I looked around and i was just in Awe.I never been nor lived in a house this nice.All the furniture was in there already.I dont see how he did it.He smiled at me and took my hand a led me upstairs into the Master Bedroom.I walked around touching everything..i stopped and grabbed Jackie towards me..i threw him on the bed and started kissing him.His hands were roaming through every part of my body.I felt his hand starting to go down my pants.I grabbed his hand and looked at him Me:we cant..you know we cant Jackie:ughh but come on Me:you know we have to wait 6 weeks Jackie:(getting up) and how am i suppose to last that long Me:idk keep yourself busy..you know with the baby(laughing) Jackie:I Love You..You know that Me:and I Love You Too..You Know That Its been a few months since me and Jackie got fully stable into the house.We are not really as close as we used to be,Jackie has changed.It seems like he has an attitude and is mad most of the time.There are times where we dont speak at all..the baby started crying and i went into her room and picked her up. . Me:shh its okay(rocking her)..hey Jackie can you get me her bottle Jackie:(walking past) get it yourself Me:Jackie im trying to calm her down she wants her bottle Jackie: and i said get it your damn self Me:you dont do nothing(saying under my breath) Jackie:(stops and comes back to the room) what you say Me:(looking up at him) i said you dont do nothing He looked at me with such anger and thats when i saw his hand raise up from the air and slap my face.I fell to the ground still with the baby in my arms..Thank God she didnt fall out.I took my other hand and placed it on my mouth,i looked at it and saw blood...he came towards and grabbed me up and pushed me against the wall and looked at me like he wanted to kill me.. To Be Continued.....
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