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It Was Meant To Be:Part Seven
once again thanks for reading my stories. theyre long because i enjoy writing them. thanks again sarah. Me: well Michael...i just donâ??t no what to think. You put yourself in my position(crying) Michael: Sarah of course its hard but if you loved me like you say you do then it should make it easier. Have i ever lied to you? Me: no but this is different. Think about it. Your both half naked in a bed nowhere near ours? This is not something i can just forgive you for like that. Think of all the images of you and that woman together that are constantly going to flash through my mind. Michael: (putting his head down) Sarah this cant be over (his eyes fill up again) Me: (rubbing my dry, sore eyes) can i just go back and get some sleep before i even think about the next step. I need more thinking to do. Michael: of course(reaching for my hand) I just get up and walk ahead of him. I cant even look at him let alone touch him. I reach my door and i wait for Michael. Me: (whispering) when we go in i suggest you get that thing out of my house before everybody wakes up. Michael: i will donâ??t worry.(again trying to hold my hand but i just walk in) I go straight upstairs and climb into bed. I am so tired and my eyes are stinging from all the tears. I have a really bad headache and i just need to lie in my bed and think. I hear Michael talking to the woman so i sat up and listened. I could only hear mumbling and eventually the door closing. I hear Michael coming and i lay down before he comes in. He knocks on the door and asks if he can lie with me. I say yes but only because if i didnâ??t my brothers would know something was going on. It was now 8 in the morning and i just needed a few hours sleep but i couldnâ??t. Michael lay stiff beside me as if he was scared to talk or try touch me again. I closed my eyes but images of Michael sleeping with another woman haunted me. I just ended up laying there for 3 hours with my eyes open. I heard movement in the room next door which was my nieces and nephews. It kind of broke the silence between me and Michael and he eventually built up the courage to speak. Michael: i...love.....you(sounding upset) Me: should of thought of that last night(turning on my side so my back faced him) Suddenly the kids burst in our room Dylan: aunty Sarah...uncle Mikey its up time!! Sarah-jane: yeah get up sleepy heads!! Me: oh hey guys(trying to act happy and smiling for the first time in what seemed like days but really hearing Dylan say uncle Mikey nearly made me burst into tears again) Michael: guys weâ??ll meet you downstairs ok.. Me: no Michael go down with them im going to have a shower and tidy myself up so that no one suspects anything. Just be yourself i donâ??t want anyone knowing this.! Michael: ok(putting his head down as i walk into the bathroom) Sarah.... Me: what? Michael: i....love....you.. I just walked into the bathroom and closed the door. i heard him leave and go downstairs with the kids and then i burst into tears. I turned on the shower still crying but i had to stop i didnâ??t want anyone knowing. Not only would Michael get hurt BADLY but it would be embarrassing. I fell for him and this is what i get for it. I should of none really. An hour passed and i was ready. I went downstairs and took a deep breath. I could hear everyone talking in the kitchen. I walked in and Michael made eye contact with me but i looked away. Everyone turned and looked at me iwas so afraid they heard what happened. But they didnâ??t. Everyone: good morning Lauren: how was your night last night?(smiling) Me: oh uhh..umm fine slept like a baby(half smiling) Michael hands me a cup of coffee and goes to kiss me on the cheek but i knew he was only doing it now because he thought i would let him because everyone was there but i still couldnâ??t touch him or let him touch me so i quickly walked away and left him kissing air. Dad: so Michael what will we do today? I walk over and stand beside the fridge and Michael stands beside me. Michael: actually sir i was going to spend some time with your beautiful daughter(smiling at me) Me: no Michael you can go do something with the lads..i have work to do!(i say it in a firm tone and walk out to the back garden) My family kind of go silent suspecting there is something happening. My sister follows me. Lauren: what happened last night? I sit at the fountain and drink my coffee. Me: nothing why? Lauren: ehmm..theres alot of tension with you and mike? Me: were fine..couldnt be happier(almost letting a tear fall but hold it back) Lauren: oh ok then well im here if you need to talkok?(hugging me) She walks back in and Michael comes out and sits beside me. Michael: can we go somewhere for the day and talk? Me: about what? Michael: well i want to sort this out? Me: weâ??ll go somewhere later..i just need time by myself. The day passed quickly and i still was stuck between two minds. I loved him so much and wanted to be with him forever but if he really did this would he do it again and why did he do it in the first place? Me and Michael went out for a walk together and sat at the big rock again. Michael started. Michael: i would never do anything like this Sarah and you know that. I was shy enough trying to ask you out and that took me 5 years. Do you really think im confident enough and cold hearted to just sleep with some random girl? Me: no Michael i donâ??t(i sat there with my head down) Michael: so please can we look passed all of this? Me: you donâ??t understand what it is like to walk in on the person you love lying there with some stranger half naked..its just not that easy Michael!! Michael: (touching my hand and i finally let him) listen (lifting my chin so he can look in my sore, red, teary eyes) i no i donâ??t understand but i am hurting now so much..you need to see how much guilt i feel for just falling asleep in the wrong place at the wrong time. If i could go back i would but i cant ok. So your just going to make a decision. Do you want to believe the truth or believe what you saw? Me: Michael i love you but i cant........ To be continued.............
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