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Better Together: Part 8
Dedicated to Richard, Michael and Darren, Miss you all. I know its not great but i tried. Well anyway enjoy. -Sarah He sat there spilling his heart out to me. Michael: so? Me: so?? Michael: say something... Me: Mike i have to go back to England in 2 weeks...pregnant or not... Michael: 2 weeks (looking down) stay with me (taking my hand) Me: Mike i know you want to be a family but i dont... Michael: what do you mean? Me: im 19 Mike...im in the prime of my career and not ready for this... Michael: ill be there...ill help...look im in the prime of my career and im young too but we can do this together... Me: you dont have to stop doing what your doing..i do! How can i play with a baby in me... Michael: (looking down) so what do you want? Me: i never thought id say this but i think i need an abortion... Michael: (sighing) well we need to find out if you definitely are pregnant first... Me: (hugging him) Mike i know you dont what that and im sorry but you have to see it from my point of view... Michael: (kissing me) i understand... I sat there thinking to myself as Michael called one of his bodyguards to get a few pregnancy tests. I know im really hurting Michael by my decision but im really not ready to be a mother. An hour passed and Michael brought up a bag with about 5 tests in them. He handed me one and i went to go into the bathroom. Michael: (kissing me) well...good luck... I walked into the toilet and done what i had to do. I left it sitting on the counter and walked out to Michael waiting for the result. Those 5 minutes felt like 5 hours. All the while Michael held me tight. My heart was racing and i could feel my body shaking. I checked the time and slowly walked over to the counter were my future lay. I picked up the test and looked at it. My eyes grew wide. Michael: (jumping up) well? Me: its negative (smiling) Michael: oh (looking down) Me: this is a good thing... Michael: yeah i suppose... Me: maybe i should take another to be sure... Like the last time i done what i had to do and waited. Once again it was negative. Michael seemed a bit disappointed, i think he thought the baby might of kept me in America a bit longer. 2 weeks have passed and its time for me to go home. I bought a new house while i was in America because i sold my apartment in England before i left. Michael drove me to the airport and was holding me so tight. He really didnâ??t want me to leave and i didnâ??t either, well i did for another reason. I stood at the steps to his jet and i held his hands. Michael: im gonna miss you so much (kissing me) Me: (holding him tight) trust me im going to miss you way more... Michael: ill call you every night and next time i can ill come over... Me: (looking down) this isnâ??t gonna work Mike... Michael: what? Me: we cant have a long distance relationship... Michael: why not (looking upset) Me: because we are both very busy and well too far away... Michael: why are you saying this now? Me: because i was just thinking we are never going to see each other... After an hour of me explaining why this wouldnâ??t work, Michael and i finally said our goodbyes. We both shed tears, i think mainly because that was the last time we would taste each otherâ??s lips, or even look into each otherâ??s eyes. I sat on the plane knowing i made the right decision. I loved him but i didnâ??t want to ruin his career like mine is already. Hours passed and i landed in Manchester airport. I got to my new home which i already had furnished and everything. I seen i already had a message on my answering machine and i knew it could only be from Michael because he was the only one who had my new number. I pushed the play button and it was him. He was just making sure i was home safe and that he misses me already. I felt my eyes tearing up because he was the perfect man and i left him. I lied to his face and he had no idea. I picked up the phone and dialled a number i havenâ??t in so long. Mam: hello? Me: hey mam its Sarah... Mam: hi Sarah, i havenâ??t heard from you in months...how are you? Me: not good actually... Mam: oh no what has Stephen done now? Me: its not Stephen...you see i have been seeing someone else... I explained everything to my mother and at first she thought i was joking until i started to cry. I never cried and when i did she knew it was serious. Me: theres more... Mam: more?? ok go on... Me: well we slept together... Mam: already... Me: just listen...i fell for him mam and yes we already slept together and well im pregnant... Mam: oh god...why do you get yourself in these situations? Me: mam can you be nice for once... Mam: sorry! So what does he think about this? Me: i told him i wasnâ??t pregnant... Mam: why? Me: well heâ??s just doing so well with his music and i didnâ??t want to ruin it... Mam: will you think about yourself for once girl... Me: i did and i dont want to have the guilt of dragging him into this... Mam: well itâ??s just as much his problem as it is yours... Me: i know...(looking at the phone) heâ??s calling again i better go... Mam: ok bye dear... I hung up and answered. He sounded worried. Me: hello? Michael: your home? Me: yeah just in the door...whats wrong? Michael: i just miss hearing your voice... Me: Mike... Michael: yeah? Me: we arenâ??t together anymore... Michael: (sighing) i know but we can still keep in touch... Me: keeping in touch is calling every now and again not all the time... Michael: well im sorry if i want to hear your voice Me: good bye Michael... Michael: fine bye... I threw the phone on the ground and cried into my hands. If he only knew i lied he would probably be on his way over by now. Months passed and i decided to keep the baby. My mother got excited and made me look forward to being a mother but i wasnâ??t alone now. Maria my cousin moved over from Ireland to be with me for the remaining months of my pregnancy before i moved back to Ireland to have the baby. I had one month before my due date and today was my birthday. I couldnt celebrate it the way i normally would by going out with the girls so i decided not to do anything. I sat watching TV waiting for Maria to come back from the store. She walked in with shopping bags and went into the kitchen. I was really depressed over these last months because everyone who found out would ask who the father is and well i couldnt tell them. Only my family knew Michael was the father. Maria: (shouting) you hungry? Me: im always hungry... Maria: true ok well im gonna check the mail and ill make you something... She went out and checked the mail and came in holding a small box. Maria: (throwing in at me) for you... Me: (looking at it) its from America...(looking at Maria) Maria: (sitting beside me) well open it... I slowly opened the box and there was a note and another small box inside. I opened the box first and it was a beautiful white gold diamond necklace. I smiled and so did Maria, we knew it was from Michael before opening the note. I opened the note and it read, Sarah, A day never goes by that i dont miss you. I hope you like your present and happy birthday sweetheart. Your always on my mind and i hope you havenâ??t forgotten about me. Have a nice day and i hope we can see each other soon. Love, Mike xxx I smiled at the note and so did Maria. They were always trying to convince me to tell him but i wasnâ??t sure if he even thought of me anymore and well this has answered my question. I didnâ??t even think he would remember my birthday. He was obviously still thinking of me so should i call him and let him come here? It wasnâ??t that i was scared of seeing him now it was that i was scared of telling him the truth after lying to him. There was so much to think about, but i think i knew deep down what i had to do. To be continued...
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