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The Way He Loves Me(PART17) by Candice

I felt the rush of blood to my head as I woke up. There were so many people 
surrounding me and Michael was one of them. He was crying. I wasn't hearing 
anything but only the faint alarm of the ambulance as it rushed down the streets of 
Ireland. I was getting dizzy again and I felt as if I was being drowned in pain. 
Everything was going bad and now it was getting worse. I was feeling very confused 
and ill. I wanted to tell Michael so much but it was hard. The medics gave me 
something to inhale and before I knew it everything was pitch black again.

-----------------------xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-----------------------

I woke up to the beeping of the machines around me. Michael was sleeping on the 
chair by the bed. He looked tired and even in his sleep he looked worried. I then 
came to realize that our baby was gone. I started to cry. It was hard for me to 
accept. Michael was so happy and so eager to become a father and there I was 
seeming so careless. I felt unworthy of him, unworthy of his love. He was alarmed 
by my sobs. This caused him to wake up. "What's happening? Is there anything 
painful? Do you want me to call the nurse?" He asked. He was wiping my tears away 
and hugging me. "I'm sorry, Michael." I said as I tried to compose myself. "Our 
baby's gone! I was so stupid and so careless! I should've just stayed in bed and 
rested! I was so stupid!" I was breaking down. "Ssshhh.. It's okay. It was an accident. 
It wasn't your fault. I should've been there beside you. I should've never let you go 
to the kitchen alone. It's alright. Don't blame yourself." He was rubbing my back 
and consoling me endlessly. He didn't seem angry. "No, I'm sorry." I kept on saying 
these words over and over again. He held my face and looked me in the eyes. "IT'S 
NOT YOU FAULT OKAY? It was nobody's fault." He reassured. I was getting more and 
more hurt. I was frustrated at the fact that I was able to take care of our baby. "You 
need to rest. Please Candice. We already lost our baby and now, I don't wanna lose 
you." He said. There were tears in his eyes. I embraced him tight and I kissed him 
on the cheek. "I'm sorry." I said once again. "There's no need to say sorry, Candice. 
Now, I want you to go back to sleep. You need it." He was already wiping his tears 
away. He stroke my cheek and laid me back to bed. "Sshhhh.. rest now" He added. I 
began to go back into a deep sleep.

I was advised to stay in the hospital for two more days. They needed to make sure I 
had gained my energy back before letting me go. Michael stayed with me and it was 
touching because he never left me. He never did.

One morning as I ate breakfast....

"We're going back to LA in a week. Im gonna have to get back to work and you.. well 
you still have to rest." He explained. He was helping me with the bread and the jam. 
I nodded. I didn't want to talk. There was just so much despair in me. "Hey." He 
stroke my cheek. I looked at him and gave him a faint smile. I didn't want to feel 
this way. It was too heavy. "Take me away from here." I said in a whisper. "This place 
will only remind me of the bad things over and over again. Take me away, Michael" I 
was begging him. He paused for a while and looked at me intently. "Come here." He 
hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. "Where do you want to go?" He asked. 
"Anywhere but here" I replied. He stood up and took his coat. He wrapped it around 
me and carried me. "Alright then." He said.

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