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Tough Love Part 95; 4 (3)
I meant to say the last time that I posted that in 3 days, it wouldâ??ve been the 3rd anniversary since Iâ??ve been writing this story. Then I wanted to posted on Feb. 14 since thatâ??s when I started writing this story :). Just like a little trivia I wanted to share. -Aariyan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 95; Part 4 (3) Confessions on Christmas Night, 1978 I begin to fold my arms as well so I could buy time/be defiant to Michael. â??Well, arenâ??t you going to say anything?â? â??I can but I donâ??t want to.â? â??WHY?â? â??Because I donâ??t want to Michael. Itâ??s that simple.â? â??Lyric come on.â? Thatâ??s when I beat my fist against the wall of the bathroom. â??WHAT do you expect me to tell you Michael??!! You know DAMN WELL why I feel so fucked up now! After a magic show, Iâ??m chillinâ?? with my boyfriend until Clarence gets me out of NO WHERE. Then we go to the airport to pick up her ass! I donâ??t know what the hell they think theyâ??re doingâ??I donâ??t know why sheâ??s here like weâ??re happy family once more. Thatâ??s WHY I left her in Ohio. Then I come back â??homeâ? for Christmas and I catch them sexing. After all the bullshit I had to go through, theyâ??re trying to mend something that ainâ??t even suppose to be there anymore. He couldâ??ve at least given me a heads-up that she would even be coming!!â? When I really look at Michael again, his eyes are just big. He looked scared for his life. â??You see WHY I didnâ??t want to tell you. Itâ??s so fucking complicated.â? I point my finger into his chest. â??Itâ??s not so picture-perfect like they try to make it be. Iâ??m not happy if itâ??s not obvious enough.â? I spread my arms out so heâ??d know I was surrendering to my feelings. â??So now I had to spend my Christmas up in my boyfriendâ??s room.â? As Michael is reacting to what I just said, I slide down the wall of the bathroom door. Iâ??d just rather die at this moment. â??WHAT?!â? I shake my head. â??Nothing didnâ??t happen. He didnâ??t rape me. I was just in his room.â? When I see Michael hold onto his hair to make sense of what I just said, I just hide my head into my lap. When I raise my head to catch my breath, I tell Michael to sit on the floor with me. â??And then Iâ??m still having harboring feelings for my old friend. But I canâ??t even do THAT without getting crazy looks.â? â??â?¦You mean Donovan hunh?â? I nod my head. Michael gets tissue for me as I wipe my face, then blow my nose. â??Donovan is PERFECT for me Michael.â? He looks down at the floor. Then he looks at me. â??Your dad told me that he was into aeronautics.â? â??Military aviation.â? I begin to cry a little again. â??Heâ??s stuck between choosing the military or music. If he chooses the military then heâ??ll leave me. And if I follow him, then Iâ??ll be all over the place. But Iâ??ll never see my family again. It wonâ??t be the same.â? Pauseâ?¦.And Michael looks down again. â??Really?â? â??Thatâ??s one of the biggest decisions heâ??s making now, but he really havenâ??t told me all that yet. Iâ??ve just figured it out myself.â? â??You guys must be really close.â? â??Heâ??s just always supported me. Michael, Donovan is like youâ??heâ??s a gentleman. Heâ??ll pull my seat out for me. He cares about me more than he cares about himself.â? â??Does heâ?¦.Does he you knowâ?¦?â? Once again I have to nod and disappoint Michael. â??Yes Michaelâ?¦Donovan loves me. But thatâ??s when things become even more complicatedâ??he was born in 1962 too! Heâ??s seven months older than me, but he skipped a grade so heâ??s graduating a year early. So if he chooses the Army then I wonâ??t be able to go with him because I have a year left in school. Heâ??ll probably be in training a year before heâ??s actually put in the air, but even then I probably still wonâ??t be le to go with him if I wanted. I have school to worry about.â? â??Ohâ?¦college.â? â??Yeah. And Iâ??m not the one willing to give up my future for love. Iâ??ve only reunited with Donovan nine months ago. I knew him before I moved and have always thought he was attractive, but it was really once I got back that we started talking. Plusâ?¦if things begin to blossom more with M.J. and he stays here, then I wonâ??t have to worry about leaving here. He probably will sense he wants to do music.â? I know I was REALLY killing Michaelâ??s self-esteem, so I added this in, â??Plus I know youâ??re not going anywhere, so Iâ??ll be closer to you too.â? THAT made him smile. â??So things are going good for you too, huh?â? â??Right now,â? I smile, â??It is overall.â? â??â?¦Well, whatâ??s up with that bracelet?â? â??Oh,â? I go in my pocket an finally get it out again, â??that thing? He got it for me because guys are always looking at me,â? I smile as I tease Michael, â??so he wants them to know Iâ??m taken.â? â??â??Takenâ??? if it was me, I wouldnâ??t call it exactly that. Iâ??d think Iâ??d have a little more faith in you.â? â??I mean not â??takenâ?? like a prisoner or something, but â??takenâ?? like I have a boyfriendâ?¦because I do.â? â??Really Lyric, but when he was gripping your thigh.â? â??He wasnâ??t GRIPPING it, okay?! He just really cares about me. When are YOU going to start?â? I jump up as I wipe my face and straighten my hair in the mirror. â??As soon as your decisions start to make sense.â? I give him the stink eye. â??Move.â? â??Youâ??re okay now?â? I shrug my shoulders. â??Iâ??m better.â? Michael gets up and as Iâ??m opening the door, he taps my shoulder. â??What is Donovan mixed with anyways?â? I close the door behind me. â??Heâ??s mixed with different European nationalities; if thats how it's supposed to be said....And then heâ??s mixed with Indian on hisâ?¦mom side I believe. Plus heâ??s Greek on his Dadâ??s side. So thatâ??s why I say itâ??s so hard for us because people see that and theyâ??re quick to judge us. Even Clarence is hesitant about him. He doesnâ??t want me to forget where I come from, but I donâ??t. I KNOW who I am. And every day I go to school, thereâ??s my daily dose of remembrance, but either way, if Iâ??m attracted to Donovan, then Iâ??m attracted to Donovan. So whatâ??s wrong with that?â? â??Nothingâ?¦nothing at all.â? â??Thank you.â? then I walk out. I know it wasnâ??t Michael who was critiquing me for liking Donovan. I just needed to air out feelings for familiar feelings that Iâ??ve had to experience. I go back to my seat on the plane. I sat on the end of the row because of my leg. Then Michael comes out a few minutes laterâ??just in case someone was watching. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, so due to the fact I havenâ??t been posting consistently like Iâ??ve wanted to, I decided to post what I had right now. I really didnâ??t want so many parts under â??95â?, but I how I had it mapped out made sense. So forgive me for that please :). But I hoped you enjoyed! ~Aariyan
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