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lost and found 25

here's part 25 enjoy!!!!
-Samone.

it's been 11 months since i've been in chemo and i look horrible,all my hair fell out i have no eyebrows nothing,i could say i'm about 90 pounds because i can't eat, if i do i'll throw it back up.i felt like a baby,michael and princess would have to wheel me around because i was too weak to walk and i couldn't even wash my own ass i was soo upset i didn't want to live anymore.one day when i was at chemo i just broke down all these feelings i had inside just came out.

Stacy:how are you feeling today mrs.jackson?
Me:(silence)
Stacy:(rubbing my arm)aww it's okay do you want to talk about it?
Me:(tearing up)i just don't understand why me,why is this happening to me?
Stacy:mrs.jackson your not alone in this,i once had this disease too.
Me:really?
Stacy:i had it for two years and i survived it,i know you can too.
Me:some days i'm scared i might not wake up(crying)i'm just ready to go,i can't fight this anymore,it's my time to go,i want to go i don't want to suffer anymore.
Stacy:(hugging me)mrs.jackson don't say that.i felt just like you,i felt that i had no more to give and i was useless,please i know you will make it just believe in yourself please. you will beat this i know you will.
Me:(sniffing)thank you sweetie,your an inspiration for me to keep pushing on.
Stacy:your welcome.

every since that day i'd got stronger and stronger stacy wasn't just a chemo therapist but also my mentor.it's been a year and my hair was coming back i would get weak now and again but i kept pushing,i gained my weight back and a little extra but that was okay too,i wasn't on as much medication as i use to be and i was starting to look like myself again.i thanked god everyday for giving me a second chance at life.one night as i was asleep i started dreaming about my mother.

Momma:hello lillionna.
Me:(rubbing my eyes)momma is that you.
Momma:yes,i miss you.
Me:i miss you too.
Momma:your disease is almost gone just continue to fight it and your will become stronger than ever.
Me:thank you momma.
Momma:(fading away)it was nice seeing you again,be strong honey i love you,goodbye.
Me:(yelling)momma don't go please.

i must of been talking in my sleep because michael as shaking me to wake up.

Me:(yelling)momma don't leave me.
Michael:(shaking me)lil wake up wake up
Me:(jumping up)what??michael i saw her she was here.
Michael:who?
Me:(tearing up)my momma,she was here, she was so close to me.
Michael:(hugging me)don't cry honey.
Me:(tears running down my face)she told me i was beating my disease and it's almost gone.
Michael:and she's right you are beating it,she has faith in you.

two weeks later i go to the doctor for my check up and they had good news for me,they said my cancer was completely gone but i would still have to take my medicines for a little longer until i gain all my strength back.i think all along my momma was watching over me and guiding me to become stronger.

thanks for reading the next one might be up tomorrow not making another til i get 10+votes!!

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