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Love is a feeling *1*
Hey mjsiters! well, here is my new story, i hope you'll enjoy it! For TatYaNa, whom i love dearly and who has been an inspiration for this story :) Well, here goes..... Love is a feeling Chapter One: Michael hated strip clubs. He hated the people who came here, he despised the degrading services itâ??s employees gave their customers, he loathed the atmosphere of excitement and slight nervousness which hung in the air like heavy cigar smoke about being caught doing something you werenâ??t supposed to, but most of all, Michael hated the horrible empty feeling these joints gave him the minute he stepped across the threshold. Michael felt like a total hypocriteâ?¦â?¦â?¦why was he even sitting here? He had no desire to pay some poor girl to satisfy him! He experienced no pleasure in watching these trashy women parade their bodies in front of him, wearing next to nothing and making him increasingly uncomfortable. He didnâ??t want this! He didnâ??tâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦! He was only here because of Tito and Marlon! He and his brothers had just finished the Destiny World Tour and they usually liked to do something fun to finish it off. Michael loved going to water parks or Disneyland and thatâ??s what theyâ??d done the previous days, but his brothers often had a different idea about what â??funâ? really was and so tonight (it was Saturday) theyâ??d decided to go â??outâ?. Usually Michael wasnâ??t such a social person. He didnâ??t really like going to discos and the like â?? apart from Studio 54, which he LOVED â?? and preferred to stay at home on weekends, reading, writing music or dancing. But he didnâ??t want to be a stick-in-the-mud, so when Tito and Marlon had urged him to come here heâ??d felt obliged to say yes. They ALWAYS celebrated the end of a tour together and Michael would have felt bad about simply not coming. But as he glanced about the club he really started to question his reasoning. Why had he â?? yet again â?? let his brothers talk him into coming if he REALLY didnâ??t want to be here? Why did he still tag along like the little Michael back in Gary Indiana, letting his older siblings and father lead the way into shady nightclubs and sleazy strip joints when it was already almost past midnight and entirely too late for a little boy of five to still be awake? In fact, that was probably where Michaelâ??s aversion to strip clubs and such came from. Heâ??d had enough experience with such places to last him a lifetime! His life had been reversed: nightclubs, strippers and work as a child, reading and playing around at Disneyland as a grownup. He shook his headâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦that couldnâ??t be right! His brothers didnâ??t really seem to mind, though. Why was he so different? Michael looked about uneasily, his eyes obscured by a pair of huge black aviators and took a swig from his diet coke Jackie had ordered him a while ago. Diet coke! He snorted inwardly. He was probably the only guy in the entire world who didnâ??t drink at 22! As he set down his glass his gaze fell upon a young black girl dressed in a glittery tank top and an almost non-existent black mini-skirt lounging on a bar stool near him. She had a pretty face, though maybe a bit too much lipstick and makeup. Michaelâ??s eyes moved over her tank top and her skirt down to her deliciously long and slender legs and her five inch heels. Gulping, Michael moved his gaze back up to her face and blushed madly when he noticed that she was looking straight at him. The girl gave him a sexy smile as her delicate fingers reached into her glass and picked out the olive that was speared on itâ??s stick and â?? still watching Michael intently â?? slowly brought it up to her full red lips. His eyes were glued to the olive pick as she let her tongue glide over it before taking it in her mouth and softly sucking on it, not once taking her eyes off him. A sudden heat was starting to spread trough Michaelâ??s body as he watched the girl move the olive slowly in and out of her mouth, shaping her lips into a small â??oâ?. His body heat seemed to be increasing more and more and a warm, fuzzy sensation started to build up inside him. Quickly he looked away biting his lip. He always felt incredibly shy and out of place around women, especially when they were beautiful, because they intimidated him. He didnâ??t know why he could never really talk to them without blushing or getting completely tongue-tied and making an utter fool of himself. He wished he had Jermaineâ??s charm, Marlonâ??s wittiness or Jackieâ??s looks. Even Tito seemed to attract women like flies, enticing them with that deep rumbling voice of his. And Randyâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦well, women seemed to love the fact that he could play just about any instrument and had that cuteness of being the youngest brother about him! Michael had often wondered if he had some special character trait or look that may be appealing to girls, but he could think of nothing! His best friend Tatyana always said she loved his eyes and his smile and the fact that he was â??so sweetâ?, but Michael knew she was probably only being polite. In countless hours spent in front of the mirror in his bedroom he had come to realize that there was absolutely nothing he liked about himself. As a child heâ??d at least been cute, but at the age of fifteen his appearance had started to change. No longer did he have that little snub nose, those chubby cheeks, that smooth complexionâ?¦â?¦â?¦heâ??d grown up intoâ?¦â?¦â?¦what? An ugly, awkward loner who trapped himself within his own shyness! Carefully Michael shifted his eyes back to the young girl who was now fixing him with a look that made his stomach leap. Her eyes seemed to be telling him something, but Michael couldnâ??t understand. Heâ??d seen that look in the eyes of other women before and had always been puzzled about itâ??s meaning. The woman flashed Michael another smile and this time he felt his body give a noticeable jolt. Was she attracted to him? Was she doing this to get his attentionâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦maybe to get him to talk to her? Who was she anyway? Entranced, he watched her give him a small wink as she rose, tossed the olive pick back in her empty glass and slowly came sauntering over to where he was sitting. Michaelâ??s mind whirled. Oh god! She was coming over!! What was he supposed to say to her? What if â?? â??Good evening, strangerâ? Michael looked up at the woman who was now standing right in front of him, one hand on her hip, the other casually fingering the necklace that hung around her neck, her long red fingernails gently brushing her collarbone. Michael tore his eyes away from her neck and fixed them on her face. â??H-helloâ?, he said almost inaudibly, glancing down shyly. The girl laughed â??Why so shy, stranger? Do you have a name?â? She slid onto the stool right next to Michaelâ??s and held out her hand. â??Mines Valerieâ?, she said smiling. Michael took her hand and slowly shook it. â??Hello, Valerie!â?, he mumbled. Valerie cocked her head slightly and gave him a quizzical look. â??Thatâ??s the best you can do? Wonâ??t you tell me your name, handsome?â? Michael stared at her. HANDSOME??? â??I-Iâ??m Michaelâ?, he said blushing. Valerieâ??s eyes roamed over his body, studying it closely stopping at his eyes that were still covered by the large aviators. â??Michaelâ?¦â?¦â?, she purred â??Thatâ??s a nice name. Do I get to see the eyes that go with it?â? Michael nervously adjusted his shades. The last thing he wanted was to be recognizedâ?¦â?¦â?¦ â??I ummâ?¦â?¦Iâ??d rather notâ?, he stammered. Then, noticing that sounded kind of rude he quickly added â??Iâ??m sorry, Iâ??m just more comfortable with themâ?¦â?¦â? Valerie pouted her luscious lips looking a bit disappointed, but then her face brightened again. â??Thatâ??s okay, Michael, Iâ??ll just have to guess what they look like, then, huh?â? He shrugged awkwardly. Michael shifted about uncomfortably in his seat, not really knowing what to say next. Valerie had crossed one long leg over the other and was scrutinizing him with curious eyes. Why did she keep looking at him like that?? It was starting to unnerve him! Valerie broke the short silence. â??So, do you like to come here often?â? â??Uhâ?¦â?¦â?¦no?â? Valerie smiled knowingly. â??So this is your first time?â? Michael bit his lip. He could hardly tell her that heâ??d been practically raised in these sort of places. â??Not really.â? â??So youâ??ve been to one before? Oooh, so youâ??re that kind of boy, huh? Shy on the outside and wild within?â? Michael, who had been drinking some of his coke, spluttered at this remark and nearly spat out his drink. Choking he set down the drink and stared at her dumbfounded, mouth agape. â??N-not really, noâ?, he managed before blushing crimson and turning his attention to the floor, intently studying his penny loafer clad feet. â??Michael, would you loosen UP?!â?, Valerie said almost sharply, reaching out to pull his chin back up to face her. The moment her fingers touched his skin, Michael felt another jolt run through him, goosebumps slowly spreading all over his skin. The heat crept up his neck and to his cheeks, setting them on fire. Valerie ran her finger along his cheek and leaned closer, so her face was only inches away from his. It was getting hard for Michael to breathe regularly. â??Donâ??t worry, I donâ??t biteâ?, she murmured â??Now, why donâ??t we just take off these stupid glasses, so I can see your whole face.â? Before Michael could stop her she had already gently pulled off his aviators and was now staring at him, eyes growing bigger and bigger. He cringed, great! She had recognized him! But it was so dark hereâ?¦â?¦â?¦how could she? Michael groaned inwardly and prepared himself for the excited squeal that would undoubtedly come next. â??Oh, my LORD! Why you be hidinâ?? behind those glasses, baby, you are the finest man I have ever set eyes on!â?, Valerie exclaimed. Michael blinked. WHAT?! This girl could NOT be serious! HIM? FINE? And why wasnâ??t she screaming? Was it indeed dark enough in here for him not to be recognized? â??Uhâ?¦â?¦thanks?â?, he mumbled, dazed. He had never been paid such a compliment in his entire life and, though he didnâ??t really think she could be serious, it felt great! Michaelâ??s heart was suddenly filled with warmth as he thought that maybe she DID mean itâ?¦â?¦â?¦maybe she WAS attracted to him? Slowly Valerie got up and stepped closer to him, until she was literally sitting on his lap. Her eyes were burning into his as she leaned forward. Michael froze as she whispered seductively in his ear. â??Do you know you have the sexiest eyes I have ever seen?â?, she breathed. That warm fuzzy feeling was coming back tenfold! Michael shivered as her sweet breath caressed his ear and he breathed in her intoxicating scent. He felt hot and dizzy! Why was she doing this? He wasnâ??t sure if he liked what how she was acting. He had hardly spoken a word and still she was all over himâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦not that he wasnâ??t thrilled that a woman was finally showing real interest in him, especially because she didnâ??t seem to have a clue who he really was, but WHY was she doing it? Valerie idly tossed her hair over her shoulder and smiled once more. â??Michael, I have a little proposition for youâ?, she whispered. This made had him stumped. What was that supposed to mean? Gradually Michael was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable. Working up the little courage he had, Michael decided to pry a bit. â??Wh-what do you mean, Valerie? What kind of proposition?â? â??Oooh, the quiet boy has decided to talk in whole sentencesâ?, she laughed sexily. â??I meanâ?, she purred â??that you seem like the kinda descent guy who respects a woman and thatâ??s why Iâ??d be prepared to â?? â??, she paused and leaned even closer, so her lips were touching his ear â??â?? make you a special priceâ?¦â?¦â?¦for some SPECIAL treatment!â? Suddenly that warm and fuzzy feeling in Michaelâ??s body disappeared and was replaced by cold, harsh realization. He reeled away, completely shocked by what heâ??d just heard. A SPECIAL PRICE???? SPECIAL TREATMENT???? So THATâ??S what all that touchy feely had been about, the sexy compliments, the seductive voiceâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦Valerie was a prostitute was just fishing for customers!! Michael inwardly slapped himself for being so stupid as to fall for her cheap flirting. I mean REALLY, how could he have been so stupid?!? GOD! Michael felt horribly cheated. Valerie hadnâ??t called him handsome, because she meant itâ?¦â?¦â?¦she just wanted his MONEY! A lump was starting to rise in his throat at the thought that the first woman to really flirt with him was nothing but a gold diggingâ?¦â?¦â?¦urgh!! Michael turned away from her disgusted. â??Whatâ??s the matter, sweet Mikey?â?, Valerie cooed in what Michael now recognized was a false voice â??Mr. Shyness too timid? Donâ??t worry, I take excellent care of my clients.â? Before Michael could even respond her hand crept down to his lap where she lightly ran her fingers over his crotch. That. Did it. Michael drew himself up to his full height. â??What sort of person do you think I am?â?, he managed to choke. â??Now, I would be very grateful if you could get your hands OFF me!â? The prostitute raised an eyebrow, then shrugged, getting up. â??Whatever, duh!â?, and with that she sauntered off. Michael stared after her in disbelief. Well, that just proved it all, didnâ??t it? As soon as heâ??d denied her sheâ??d lost interest, as soon as she knew she wouldnâ??t walk away from him with a huge wad of cash sheâ??d simply dropped him! Staring at his feet miserably, Michael tried to convince himself that it was his own fault, that he should have noticed she wasnâ??t an ordinary girl, but her sweet talking had blinded himâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦ Was he not desirable enough to other girls? Did he have to PAY women before they wanted him?! Looking up to see what had become of the girl he saw, to his horror that she had already stalked her next prey and was now subtly running her hand up the thigh of another guy at the bar, whispering seductively in his ear. That was really the final straw! Michael got up from where he was sitting and stormed out of the club. On his way out he passed Tito and Randy who were too busy getting a lap dance by two blond bimbos in red lingerie to notice him leave. As he pushed open the door and stumbled out into the street he thought he heard Jermaine call out to him, but was too upset to notice or care. Breathing in the cold night air hungrily, Michael leant against the wall opposite the club and tried to calm himself. What had he expected? Of course he should have realized from the minute heâ??d set eyes on that woman that she obviously worked for the club. What girl would voluntarily go to a strip club on a Saturday night and seduce random strangers?? REALLY, Michael! WHO?? Still Michael felt hurt and rejected. Why was it so hard for him to get close to women? Why couldnâ??t he be more like his brothers? What had happened just proved yet again what heâ??d always known: he was clueless in regard to women! Jackie probably would have spotted right away what kind of a girl that stripper was, heck, EVERY other guy would have! But not little, innocent Mikey, oh no! Michael, the shy boy. Michael, who had never ever shared a truly passionate kiss! Michael, the VIRGIN. A sob rose in Michaelâ??s chest as he slid down the wall, slumping to the ground. Michael. The. Virgin. His slim form shook uncontrollably as he buried his face in his hands sobbing miserably. He didnâ??t care if anybody saw him. Nobody would recognize him anyway, letâ??s face it! Who would expect Michael Jackson huddled next to overflowing dustbins opposite a strip joint crying his eyes out and just feeling generally rotten?! Michael let out a hollow, mirthless laugh as another cold realization hit him: If that woman in the club had recognized him, she definitely wouldnâ??t have lost interest like that! Suddenly Michael was grateful that it had been pretty dark in the clubâ?¦â?¦â?¦ That was the worst part. Women usually went crazy when they saw Michael, but if he wasnâ??t recognized nobody took any notice of him! He wasnâ??t desirable! He wasnâ??t handsome! He wasnâ??t cute anymore! He wasnâ??t â??sexyâ?! Michael was suddenly reminded of one of the songs off his latest album. â??Sheâ??s out of my lifeâ?, were the lyricsâ?¦â?¦â?¦sadly he stared at the passing cars in the other street. How could those be honestly sung lyrics? How could â??sheâ? be out of his life if sheâ??d never even been IN IT?? His body shook as a fresh wave of heart wrenching sobs washed over him. The sleeves of his sweater were now totally soaked with his tears and his jeans were damp from the rain washed street. He shivered with coldâ?¦â?¦â?¦it may be September, but the night was freezing! Michael ran his hands over his face, rubbing his sore eyes and dragging his fingers through his hair. God, he was pathetic! What would his fans say if they saw him like this? Right at that moment he heard someone coming out of the club. Rather out of habit than anything else Michael shrank back, groping for his shadesâ?¦â?¦â?¦oh fudge! Cursing Valerie for robbing him of his only disguise, he decided to just sit still and hope the person didnâ??t notice him down there. The figure stood there looking around hesitantly and then a familiar voice rang out. â??Michael?â? ... i hope you liked this (i'm kinda nervous, lol!) please vote :) lots of L.O.V.E. - emy - <3
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