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I'm Not Letting Go~~Chapter 10
Here we are at chapter 10 already! Enjoy! ~~Leslie Michael came into my bedroom wearing a t-shirt and purple pajama bottoms." I got these this morning,," he said tugging on the leg," Look close." I did and saw little ribbons in the fabric that said 'pancreatic cancer awareness'. I smiled at Michael as tears filled my eyes. " Don't cry," he said with a smile. " It's just...so sweet..." " I got some other things too, for both of us. I'll show you in the morning." he said with a smile and got into bed," Did you take your pills?" " Yes dear." I teased him. He laughed," Well just makin' sure. Gotta keep you on track." " Thank you," I smiled," You're so good to me." " I care about you," he told me and faced me," Could I interest you in laying in my arms?" "Absolutely." I answered, then turned off th lamp and scooted closer to Michael I laid my head on his chest and draped my arm across his body. His right arm was around my shoulders and his left hand held to my hand that lay across him. " Comfy?" he asked. " Yes, very. You?" I asked. " Comfy and content...and I forgot to mention how pretty you look." " Thank you." He inhaled and exhaled deeply," I always wondered what it would feel like to just hold the girl I loved in my arms all night. And man, this feels good." he beamed. " You didn't do this with Lisa or Debbie?" " Oh no," he said quickly," Neither. I've never shared a bed with any girl before." " But they were your wives--" " In name only, angel. I never shared even a real emotional kiss with either of them. I never talked to them like I can you. I didn't feel all these emotions and this connection that you and I have. Both marriages never should have happened. They didn't have the right emotions, the right foundations for marriages...love, friendship, trust, caring, compassion, passion, desire, attraction--they need to be there along with morals, values and honesty---and I'm rambling again." he smiled. " Oh no, don't stop talking. I love to listen to you talk. You're such a fascinating man." He chuckled," Oh hardly, I'm just a pathetic guy---" " You are far from pathetic. You're wonderful." I told him, leaning up and looking down into his eyes," And you more than deserve to be truly loved and cherished and cared for...not because you're Michael Jackson, but because you're Michael." His eyes were watery as he looked at me," ...thank you, Leslie." " Shhh..." I touched his lips with my fingertips and his arm slipped around my waist. " Leslie--" " Yes?" I said softly. " Kiss me." I leaned down close to him and we kissed tenderly several times and then our kissing grew slower and more romantic. Our positions changed and his hand cupped my cheek as we kiss more and I felt his lips travel to my shoulder, then up to my neck and my ear. " I love you.." he breathed at me and again caressed the side of my neck with his soft kisses, then back down to my shoulder and over to the V in my gown's neckline. After a few moment, he stopped, sighed and looked into my eyes," I uh...I think I'd better cool off a little bit, angel." I gave him a soft smile and he still didn't move but looked down into my eyes," ...just so you know...cooling off is not exactly what I want to do...but this isn't the time." he said gently. I nodded and he continued talking," ...but I can tell you this, and I know it's true. You and I ARE going to make love one day...and it's going to be magical..." he said tenderly," You'll be my first and my last and one day you'll be my wife." Tears filled those beautiful brown eyes. " ...your wife?" I answered. " Yes. The wife I always dreamed of..." he said softly," How could I not want you to to be mine forever?" " Oh Michael," I whispered and he began to kiss me again, over and over, then kissed the nightgown strap off of my shoulder and continued kissing there, until stopping quickly and moving to beside me with a heavy sigh. " Chill out Michael." he said, scolding himself. I reached for his hand and held it gently, looking at him," You're very tender and loving." He smiled a little smile," And you are so incredibly wonderful and you turn me on like crazy...you have the softest skin and the most sensual lips...I could kiss those lips all day and all night." " You wouldn't get much work done with me attached to your lips all the time." I said with a smile. " Oh, I'd get a lot accomplished with you, not with work." he grinned. " Uh huh, see?" I giggled," Your career isn't ready for me." " I am, and that's what matters," he said," I'm 51 years old. I think it's time I got to do things my way and have the lady I love right by my side. You are the one I've waited for my whole life. The one I knew had to be out there somewhere ready to complete me. The one I knew I was saving myself for...to make love to, not have sex with...I never want to have sex with you, Leslie. It's always going to be love making between us...always." " You are so sweet, Michael..." " Let me see you say the words to me." " What words?" " That you want me too...that you want to make love to me..." he said tenderly. I looked directly into those incredible brown eyes and touched his cheek with my fingertips," I do want you, Michael. And I want to be the first girl to make love to you...to be the first girl you make love to...to feel your body with mine...to feel us become one..." " Ohh angel," he said breathily then began to kiss me lovingly, but his passion grew quickly and his body was over mine, his lips moving to my ear then my neck, to my shoulder and again he kissed away the strap from my shoulder, across my neck and kissed away the other strap. His lips began kissing my chest at the V neckline, licking and nibbling as he did. He continued, but stopped before uncovering my breasts. His fingertips traced over the exposed skin and I could see a desire in his eyes I'd never seen in them before." God," he whispered," I've got to stop. We can't do this yet...it's too soon...And you're wearing another man's rings--" " It's just habit, Michael." I said, pulling off my wedding rings and placing them on the night stand beside the bed. He laced his fingers with mine and gave me a soft, gentle kiss," It's hard for me to stop when I want you so much...and God knows how much I want you. I've never kissed or touched anyone the way I do you...my heart, my body, and mind all cry out for you, Leslie." He said gently touching my cheek," I'm fighting myself over wanting you and wanting us to wait," he told me," And you must feel the same way inside..." " I do." He smiled," Yeah, those are two words I want you to practice too." I giggled and we hugged one another and I could feel his excitement against my leg, but I didn't want to say anything and embarrass him. " I love you, Michael." " I love you more, my angel," he answered back," Y'know, when I decided to disappear for a while I wondered if anything worthwhile would come out of it..." he smiled," And here you are. The love of my life..." I smiled," Well, I certainly would never in a million years have dreamed this would happen to me. I mean, I had my wonders if maybe you were still alive and had just finally had enough and wanted out for a while--" I said," And then when you came into Oncology I thought you were a darned good impersonator...but when Barry came into my room, I knew you were telling me the truth. You were the real Michael Jackson...And now I can't imagine my life without you...you bring such joy to me, Michael." " That's what makes life worthwhile, Leslie. Joy and love." " And you emit both." " Thank you," he replied," I uh, I'm wondering if it's gonna be wiser for me to sleep somewhere else tonight. I'm pretty weak around you." " Oh, please stay," i said," I'll fend you off with a big stick." I teased him. " Oh you would not." he laughed. " Okay, so I wouldn't." I smiled back at him and he pulled me into his arms so we could lie close together. " I love you." he whispered. " I love you." I answered and he kissed my cheek. " Sweet dreams, Angel." he said warmly. " Thank you Michael, I hope yours are too." " How could they not be? I have the woman I love in my arms. I've got it all."
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