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I'm Not Letting Go~~Chapter 5
Hey guys, ready for chapter 5? Here we go! After Michael and I said goodnight, I closed the door to "my room" and soon changed into my nightgown and got into the beautiful bed. It felt good to lay down, but I always had more pain when I did. I slipped on my robe and headed out of my room to get something to take my pills with and found Michael sitting on the couch with a pad of paper and pen, but he quickly turned when he heard my door. " Everything alright?" he asked. " Yeah, I just need to get some water to take my pills." I answered. " I'll get it." he said, jumping up off the couch and heading into the kitchenette, then returning with water," Here ya go." " Thank you." " You're welcome...so what pills do you take?" he asked. " At night morphine for my pain and valium--it's supposed to help me sleep, ya know. It doesn't, but it's supposed to." " It never helped me either." he confessed," Insomnia is the worst. I got so desperate to sleep. Careless, even." " It's scary what I've read you were given, Michael." " Unfortunately, that's all true...but those days are behind me now." he smiled. " I'm glad. And again, thanks for the water." "Do you need anything else?" he asked. " Nope, I don't think so. Well--" " Well--" " Gee, I think we've done this before." I teased. " I think so." he chuckled. " G'night Michael...again." I smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek then turned to go back to my room. " Wait-" he said, grabbing my hand and coming around in front of me," Pretend we're in Europe." He smiled and I chuckled and kissed his other cheek. " Better?" I asked smiling. " Almost." he said and took my shoulders in his hands and kissed me very slowly on each cheek then held me to him," I'm so glad you're here," he told me quietly and we slowly let each other go, but still his eyes held mine," I guess I better let you get back to bed. You look tired." " I am." I answered," I just wish that meant I'd sleep." " Well, if you can't and need someone to talk to you know where I am." " Aren't you tired?" " Not much. My brain is working so I've got to see it through or I'll go nuts." he smiled. " Well don't go nuts." I told him with a smile," Gnight Michael." " Gnight." he answered. I went into my room and back to bed. Michael was the sweetest person and I truly enjoyed being around him. He wasn't weird or bizzare. He was just a man. A man who had circumstances in his life that were almost incomprehensible to most people. A man who wanted understood. Who wanted to be seen as normal--a regular guy. And now he was my friend. The "King of Pop", the millionaire, the entertainer adored and worshipped by millions was just my friend Michael. And somehow that night, I was able to fall asleep. It was nearly noon when I work up. It felt good to have slept for a change. I got up and ready for the day then headed out of my room, finding Michael sitting on the couch watching cartoons--something I'd heard he loved to do. " It's wabbit season---" " It's duck season--" " It's duck season--" " Oh, I love this one." I said. " Hey," Michael smiled and quickly came over to me, kissing my cheek," Good morning." " More like afternoon, I think." I answered. " You got some sleep," he smiled," I'm glad you did. How are you feeling?" " So far so good." I answered him. " Good," he took my hand," Okay, now food. What would you like?" " Hmmm," I pondered," Tuna salad?" " Your wish is my command." he smiled and walked me to the couch, then ordered our lunch. He then sat down on the couch beside me and gave me a smile." It's nice to see you." " It hasn't been that long, has it?" I smiled. " A few hours," he answered," It always makes me happy to see you." " Did you sleep?" " For a while. I had stuff in my head I had to get down before I tried to sleep. It was sure nice sleeping knowing I wasn't alone and you'd be here when morning came." " Thank you, that's sweet." " It's true. Every word." he said," I still get very lonely by myself." " It must be hard to live this way." " It has to be this way for a while. But when I have to go back to being me I'm gonna be driven crazy by the paparazzi. I thought it was bad before--" he chuckled," I ain't seen nothin' yet." " Oh it will be insane, but your fans will be so elated--and your family--" "It's been hard keeping this from them...but it's safer for them this way. I just hope they'll forgive me." he said. " They will." I assured him. " Joseph probably won't." he said," He's not exactly keen on how I've lived my life anyhow." " Y'know Michael, if your father was a dad to you, your life would have been different in so many ways." His eyes looked misty," I would have loved to have had a dad." " Me too. Mine doesn't even know I have cancer. I haven't heard from him in about 4 years. I don't even know how to reach him." " You're his daughter though, he should know about your illness. He'd care." " Nah," I smiled," He wouldn't. But it's ok, I'm used to it." Michael scooted closer to me and hugged me tight," You are so strong, you know that?" " Oh I dunno about that. I just remember my grandpa telling me to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and keep going..." I slowly let go of him. " You've done that your whole life, haven't you?" he said compassionately. " No choice." I answered. " You know something--we are so much alike in all the important ways. I feel like there's nothing I can't tell you." " Thank you, I feel the same way. You're really very special." " Oh no, I'm not special-" " To me you are, so shuddup and take the compliment." I told him, smiling. He blushed and giggled," Feisty's back and I didn't even mention Barry." " Oh not again--" I shook my head. Michael laughed too," He's actually a very good friend of mine. I've spent a lot of time with him and we talk about being kids and growing up in the business. He had a great father, though. A father who still looked after their career and molded them, but still a dad who loved them and they knew it," he said," That's so important, y'know, to let children know they're loved. Well, not just children. People in general need to know they're valued and worthy." " I never got an I love you from my parents, never." " I didn't from Joseph, but always from my Mother. Hugs, I love you's ...the important things." " You must love her very much." " Very," he said with teary eyes," I adore her and I miss her so much...but we talk and it helps us both I think. And I know I'll see her someday soon." Soon our lunch came and we ate as we talked more about our lives. Michael was just intriguing to listen to. What an amazing life he'd lived! " So, this girl tried her hardest to pull me off the stage," he laughed," I wasn't worried about falling as much as I was what she'd do to me if she got me down there!" I laughed," God only knows!" " Tell me!" he giggled. " Groupies must drive you crazy." " I love my fans, I truly do, but groupies---they just see you as a piece of meat and a lot of entertainers take advantage of that. A different girl every night or hour, as the case may be. I'm just not that way. It's not me. Now, my brothers--I love them, don't get me wrong, but they loved knowing they could have any girl they wanted. I felt so sorry for the girls who weren't groupies and would believe the lines the guys would tell them, then they'd get their hearts broken because they were just a one night stand." he said," Women need to be treated with respect. Like you. You're very much a lady and I admire that. My mother would absolutely love you. Your morals, your values---you don't drink, don't smoke, don't swear--" he smiled," You're perfect." I laughed," Ohhh HARDLY." " No, you are," he said," You're sweet and charming, beautiful inside and out...you're intelligent and sensitive, strong and still with all you've gone through and are still going through, you smile." " Not always." I said lightly," But I could say the same about you, Michael. You've endured so much, and still you smile." " God loves me, Leslie. He blesses me every day. He loves you too." " Sometimes it doesn't feel that way." " I know...but the trials in our lives make us rely on Him more," he answered," It strengthens our faith." " Michael Jackson, you are something." I kissed his cheek. He smiled," I dunno what I did, but thank you." " You just know the right thing to say," I told him," You get inside my head somehow." " It's dusty in there, by the way." he teased. " Oh hush!" He laughed," Okay, okay, now I know you need to take it easy today, so I want you to sit there, put your Garfield's up and I'll turn on the tv." " Thank you, Michael." " None needed." The rest of the day I stayed seated on the couch with Michael watching tv and movies. He was like my little nurse, getting me water, cokes, anything, and always making sure I was comfortable. He was a wonderful man. When evening came, we decided on a Scrabble rematch. We'd had such an enjoyable day together, I never thought once about him being Michael Jackson. He was just Michael. " M-U-S-I-C-A-L," he said putting his letters on the board. " You WOULD get that one," I said with a laugh," Cheater." " Just lucky." he smiled. " P-A-S-T-R-I-E-S," I put my word down. " Ohhhh, NOW who's the cheater, bakery girl?" he grinned. " Yeah yeah, whatever Mister I'm Bad." Michael laughed and threw a piece of popcorn at me. I threw one back and then the war was on! Popcorn flying back and forth, in our hair, all over the game and one went in the V in my top. " Want me to get that?" he giggled. " I think not," I laughed back and threw more popcorn at him. " Okay, okay, I surrender!" he laughed," It looks like we had a snowstorm." " Gee, I wonder why?" I laughed. " And you have popcorn in your hair," he said, reaching over and taking the salty popcorn out of my hair, piece by piece. Then his hands held my shoulders and he leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. Nothing passionate, just soft and tender, yet still something that had never happened between us. When he pulled his lips away, he looked down, seeming almost embarrassed by what he'd done. I pulled another piece of popcorn from my hair and tossed it so it hit him in the nose. He looked up with a little smile," No fair, I wasn't lookin'." " And who's fault is that?" I smiled. " Um...maybe we should get back to the game." he said, seeming nervous suddenly. " Okay, just let me go wash my popcorny hands." "'kay." I went into the bathroom and as I washed my hands, I thought about that kiss that Michael had given me. It was sweet and innocent, just like him. I went back out and sat down and Michael seemed intensely studying the letters on his rack. As I looked at mine, I was surprised to see they weren't the letters I'd had. The letters spelled out K-I-S-S M-E .
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