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Amber's Heart Part 6

I like your stories Katrina.

The week progressed like any other day Jan and I took turns going to each other houses.  Then on Friday as we were going to our homeroom, Janet pulled me and Pamela into the bathroom.
Me: What is it Jan?
Janet: Mother suggested I should have a sleepover.
Pamela: Really, I canâ??t go anyways.
Janet: I donâ??t know why she did; I guess she wants Miss Amber here closer to Michael.
Me: Guys hush!  I donâ??t â??
Michael: A piggyback ride with these two monsters, I donâ??t think so!
He didnâ??t come in, we heard his voice at the doorway.  He was also way off about what we were even talking about.
I whispered to Janet I would go and walked out the bathroom with my head down.  I donâ??t know if he likes me because since I sort of threw him out, he eased up a little.  I know heâ??s shy and soft spoken but is aggressive sometimes.  It made me sort of angry to be this confused.  I went through out the rest of the day without saying much.  If Michael would make a noise, I would only slightly moveâ??nether less.  
The day ended and I was thankful.  Thatâ??s the second worst thing in having a crushâ??the first is them not liking you back.  Never mind, scratch that out, the first thing is never knowing; the second is them rejecting you; and the third thing is playing the on and off field.  I was very frustrated and Pamela joked once if I was going through you know what this week.
Pamela told us to come in with her so I could meet her family real quick and beg on her knees if she had to.
Mrs. Green: Hi, Iâ??m Yvonne.
Mr. Green: Iâ??m Gerald Green.
Me: Iâ??m Amber Logan.
Her parents said yes and as we were leaving, I told Pam about my cousinâ??s ex whose name was Gerald, we were falling over each other laughing.
Pamela: Well when my mom first met him, she thought the same.
Then we were really gasping for breath.
Michael stayed after school to watch some of his friends practice baseball.  I couldnâ??t help but thinking God surely knows how to make coincident happen at the oddest moments.  We went over to my house and I also got permission and Pam was able to meet Beanie and Sandy.  She said her parents caved in and let her come over.
Janet: Well since Mike and Mom arenâ??t here yet, we get the house to ourselves!
Both: Yay! 
We left our book bags at home since there wasnâ??t any work to do, thank God.  Pam brought her sports bag that fitted over the shoulder tightly, I brought Sandyâ??s old Adidas bag that was over the shoulder also but hanged low, Janet didnâ??t bring anything because she lived here.  Weâ??excluding Janâ??looked athletic.
Janet: Make yourselves comfy.
Then she walked out.
Pam and I took our shoes and socks off now Michael was cured.
Pamela: Think weâ??re going to get into some thangs?
Me: Thangs?  I think not.
Pamela: Well Iâ??m going to play in the bathroom.
Me: You go do that.
When she walked out, I tried breathing in all that was in Janetâ??s room all at once.  I liked it and how it was really neat.  I didnâ??t know she was such a reader.  Then an idea popped in my mind, Why not go into Michaelâ??s bedroom?  I swore I saw the little angel and devil pop up on my shoulders.  Iâ??m not sure what the tiny angel was thinking but it finally agreed with the devil.  I was thinking Wow I canâ??t keep sneaking getting another piece of chocolate cake.

I saw Janet on the couch flipping through channels and Pamela was looking through her bathroom.  Now me, I was sort of nervous.  Right when I got to the door, I turned away.  I think I would rather him inviting me in so I could look around and he would explain what was what.  Now I was a bored girl.  Then I remembered Janet and her books.  I love to read so I went back to her shelf and I chose a Junie B. Jones book.  I got through her book within forty-five minutes and I started laughing when I finished it, then I heard laughter too so I looked up and it was Michael smiling at the doorway.  He looked so shy and thin with his big hair.  I smiled back.

Me: So youâ??re watching me now?
Michael: Maybe.
I went to put the book back but he snatched it away.  I sat back on my tummy and he sat on the edge of the bed.
Michael: Junie B. Jones huh?
Me: (giggling hard) I was bored.  Junie B. is crazy, gotta love her.
Michael: (laying on my back)
Me: Michael!
Michael: Yes my lovely lady?
Me: (he was looking so adorable so I kissed him on the cheek)
Michael: Awe you are so sweet.
Me: Well thank you.
He rolled back on his tummy after he put the book up after my wishes.
Michael: Soâ?¦
Me: Soâ?¦
We were silent.  His feet were lifted up and mine were flat on the bed.  Both of us rested our heads on our arms and were looking at the floor.  Then he gently kicked his right leg into my left.  I looked at him giggling.
Me: Michael why do you like touching me?
Michael: You really donâ??t wanna know.
I faked gasped and hit him in the afro and turned away.
Michael: (smiling)
Me: Stop it!  Youâ??re making me feel shy here.
Michael: Oh why?
Me: I donâ??t know.
Michael: Do you like touching me?
Me: I havenâ??t touched you.
Michael: Yet.
I laid on my back and my legs up in the air like I was a puppy.  Wow Iâ??m not that short.  I closed my eyes to envision anything.  Nothing was working.  I sadly went back to the other position.
Michael: (slid his hand in the back of my shirt touching my bra strap)
Me: Yikes!  I think I have to use the bathroom.  
My heart was beating head-on and I felt tingly inside.  The inside of my body just shooked.  I couldnâ??t believe it!  I went on ahead and used Janâ??s toilet.  I wasnâ??t too sure if I should approve what he just did, but I was glad he still paid some sort of attention to me.
I stepped out into the little hall which was dark.
Me: Michael?  Michael?
Michael: Yes?
I shrieked.  He was standing behind me with a goofy grin.  I shoved him in the stomach and went in Janâ??s room again.
The sleepover was a bit excitingâ??Janetâ??s mother came home two hours later.  When I came out the shower, I looked very natural but pretty.  I put my hair in a straight ponytail and looked at myself in the mirror.  I was happy with my results.
When Katherine got home, she brought KFC again.  We were all in our pajamas and waited for her to take a quick shower.  Pamela and Janet were in the kitchen carrying on a conversation and munching on something.  I was dreadfully dull; and even though there was a boy in the house, it still felt the same.  I was in front of the couch with my chin leaning on my knees.  I felt, I guess: lonely.  Then I got a terrific idea, why not invite Pam and the Jacksonâ??s over for dinner tomorrow.  If Mama approved, I would tell them, but if notâ??of course I wouldnâ??t bring it up.
I zipped up the stairs and dialed my number.  The phone ranged three times.
Mom: Hello?
Me: Mama?
Mom: Yes sweetie?
Me: Could I cook dinner for my two friends, one of their brothers, and one of their moms?
Mom: Sure but what about the rest.
Me: I donâ??t know them too well and I think they planned on going to a movie.  Pamâ??s folks I know.
Mom: Sure, whatâ??s the main dish?
Me: Umâ?¦ (thinking) what about chicken dumplings and uh bread sticks.  I could even cook an upside down pineapple cake for dessert.
Mom: Sweetie, thatâ??s very generous of you.  Sure, but you will need to leave early from Janetâ??s home.
Me: About nine?  They can come at five I guess.  That isnâ??t a bad time.
Mom: Youâ??re planning on cooking all of these?
Me: With all of your help of course.  
Mom: Iâ??ll get the ingredients.
Me: Okay, thanks Ma.
Mom: You are so welcome.
When I got downstairs, I was glad to know Michael was still down there and not spying on me.
Well when we were eating this time, Jan and Pam were on either side of me with Katherine across from me and Michael sitting by Pamela.  Awkward, huh?  We had some rice Krispy Treats that was in the box.  Thatâ??s when I made my announcement.
Me: Tomorrow I decided to cook at my house, and I wanted to invite all of you.  I know your family is going to be out and about tomorrow Pam, but we could hand them some of what I cook anyways.
 Pamela: That wonâ??t be necessary.
Janet: Whatâ??s on the menu?
Me: Chicken dumplings with white bread sticks and an upside down pineapple cake.
Katie: Sounds yummy.
Michael: Canâ??t wait.
What was with him?  He seemed so gloomy today.  It made me wonder if it was me he despised after all.  I wondered if I disgusted him, was I a fat disgusting glob to him or what?  My throat suddenly got tight.  That happens when I think someone hates my guts.
Katie: What time is this?
Me: Around five.
My voice sounded all high-pitched and wispy.
The rest of the dessert time was conversation going back and forth between Katie, Janet, and Pamela.  Michael just looked around and laughed from time to time.  Me, I just looked down at the table decoration in total silent.  I felt so strange and foreign, then stupid for even looking in Michaelâ??s eyes the way I have this past week.  There were those moments when I would glance his way and those times I saw him looking my way then cut his eyes away.  I felt both of us were moody that day.  After we finished, I volunteered to clean the whole kitchen.  I really wanted time to myself so I could think.  After cleaning, I was going to go somewhere and cry.  My heart hurts that much.
I did the dishes and cleaned the counter tops furiously.  Hurt always bring angry tears, which I wiped away with my bottom lip quivering uncontrollably.  When I swept, I went back to my sad self.
This didnâ??t turn out how I thought it wouldâ??I thought Pam, Jan, and I would make prank phone calls to every boy, cute or not in our junior year; we would squeal if Michael tried coming in her locked door and Katherine would yell at him; I even thought he would give me sideway smiles.  But the big Doffus just looked at me, probably because a lot of my emotions showed.
So I just went and sat on the couch and turned the television down and looked around the house.  Once I got dizzy from counting how many white things were in the living room, I finally turned the TV up a little and watched it with my head resting on the arm.  I donâ??t know where Pam and Jan kept going to, but I really didnâ??t care to learn, so my butt stayed watching TV. 
Someone sat beside me, offering a blanket and when I saw who it was; I just looked at the other side and rolled my eyes.  Iâ??m no fool but I give in easily, so I tugged some of the blanket one me and scooted over.  I showed no expression and I was being extremely rude.  My chest felt that tight.  I think I was looking at the floor and just kept swallowing like that was going out of style.
Michael: Whatâ??s the matter with you kiddo?
He tried tugging on my ponytail and when I just kept looking at the floor, he put his arm around my shoulder.
Michael: Whatâ??s wrong?
Me: Nothing, you wouldnâ??t understand.
Michael: Yes I would.
Me: Uh-uh.  You just wonâ??t.
Michael: How will I ever if you never tell me?
I guess that was reason enough
Me: One minute we all buddy-buddy and whatnot; then you act like you hate me.  This why I donâ??t date in the first place, itâ??s all too confusing for me.
I couldnâ??t believe I just said that out loud!  I went up the steps near tears with Pam and Jan staring.
Janet: What did Michael do?
Me: Nothing, I just stubbed my toe on the last stair.
Pamela: I didnâ??t hear a stump just then.
Me: But it was painful.
We just went on talking.
Janet: What should I wear to your house tomorrow, Amber?
Me: Something casual but nothing formal.  Even a turtleneck and some tight jeans will do.
Janet: What are you planning on wearing?
Me: I have no idea.  Iâ??m gonna have to wake up early.
Pamela: Like?
Me: About a corner to nine, I could get dressed while the food is cooling.  Or it may be good to leave at eight like I first thought.  More time the better.
Janet: Do you like Michael?
She just blurted it out like nothing was wrong with that picture.
Me: Why do you ask?
Pamela: We noticed how he sometimes interacts with you then treat you like ice.  I really noticed your awkwardness at the kitchen table.
Janet: I saw your few glances.  I could tell you were trying to telepath or something.
Me: No I wasnâ??t.
Janet: Do you like Michael?
Me: Urgh.
I just put my head in my arms, facing the floor and lightly tapped my feet against the floor.
Pamela: You must, youâ??re not answering us.
Me: If I was to, why would I be attracted to someone who teases me the treat me like ice.  Iâ??m not a punching bag for mood swings, you know?
Both: Take that as a no?
Me: Eternally no.
Michael opened Janetâ??s room without knocking.
Michael: Seriously, all I did was ask you a simple question and you take your anger out on me.
He was looking right at me.  I could tell he was getting frustrated alsoâ??well more frustrated.  I also saw a type of softness.  I just glared for a second and looked away.  He was doing this on purpose!
Me: My anger?  First you act like Iâ??m just this special girl after your demanding sweet Victoria, then you treat me like I did something bad to you.  What is it with you Michael?!  I try liking you and being your friend, though you are a boy, and Iâ??m shy.  Sometimes I wonder if you like me or not.
Michael: So what is this a confession?  What you like me?
Me: Not with that attitude, of course not.  Jeez, all a girl ever tries to be is perfect, if not close to it.  Yâ??all say yâ??all love it one minute, and then run off the next.  How about you try putting your feet in my shoes for once?
I stormed out of Janetâ??s room with angry tears and a red face.  Without even noticing, I went into Michaelâ??s bedroom and closed his closet door.  I was so afraid of being found.  I really wanted Casper the Ghost to come save me at that moment.  This was the second time I blew up on Michael, and he rubbed the fact in my face that I had a crush on him.  That made me very furiousâ??like it was so funny that I liked him.  Either he really thought a girl with a heart wouldnâ??t give him the time of day, or he liked me.  Either way I knew I had a clogged nose, my secret was out in the open, in front of Pamela and Janet, and I looked like a crazed woman.  I knew I was acting like one.  I thought of playing dead but I would look more like an alien.  I just wanted to go home badly.

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