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Tough Love Part 97
Chapter 97 Setting Fire to the Rain â??Jermaine why the hell are you here?â? Michael asks as he closes and locks the door behind him. â??Hey Michael,â? his brother goes up to him for a hug and Michael hugs back stiffly. In fact, his brother does the hugging while Michael just stands there. â??What â??sup Michael?â? his brother asks again. â??What the hell are you doing here?â? Michael asks coolly again. Jermaine looks at him in thereâ??s a sign of disbelief in his eyes. â??I just decided to make a stop to Hawaii. Anything wrong with that?â? Then Michael looks at me then back to his brother. I donâ??t know where this is coming from but Michael grabs his collar. â??What have you told her?!â? â??What do you mean what have I told her? I told her what she needed to know.â? Surprisingly enough though, Jermaine doesnâ??t snatch back. Michael just stares at his brother for a few seconds. â??What have he told you Alaric?â? Alaric?? Ouch. â??Wha, what do you mean what has he told me? Heâ??s told me about your family.â? â??Is that why you havenâ??t been here these past few days? Youâ??ve been spending time with my BROTHER, a man you barely even know?!â? â??No Michael itâ??s not even like that.â? â??And YOU,â? he points at his brother, â??Youâ??re telling all our family business to someone you barely even know! It shouldâ??ve been ME to tell her about our family history if I wanted. And where the hell is Hazel? I donâ??t see her or the kids in sight.â? â??Michael why are you trippinâ??? I asked you about it and you werenâ??t willing so I decided to ask Jermaine.â? â??Hazel knows Iâ??m here to surprise yâ??all and she got the kids,â? Jermaine says calmly. â??Well did you tell her this is the first time seeing both of us? Hunh Jermaine, did you tell your WIFE that?â? â??Michael you need to calm down. Itâ??s not even like that.â? â??Then whatâ??s up with these clothes? Youâ??re in a suit and sheâ??s half-clothed. I leave and come back, sheâ??s not here. Sheâ??s NEVER here. What the hell have you two been doing all this time?!â? â??Look Michael I told you Iâ??ve been telling Lyric about our family. If youâ??re supposed to be spending all this time with her, how are you going to expect to get away without telling her who the JACKSONS are? Itâ??s clear Lyric doesnâ??t just want us for the status, but she genuinely cares. Why are you taking so long with getting close to her?â? Michael walks back to his brother and points in his face, â??Look Jermaine, what goes on between ME and LYRIC is none of your damn business. I got my own problems and I donâ??t need your suave-ass trying to get in the middle of things or change anything. Our business is OUR business and Joseph, Katherine, Jermaine, or the others donâ??t need to know, okay??!â? Jermaine eyes are fixated on his brotherâ??s for a few moments. â??Sorry Lyric that you have to be stuck with a stuck-up-ass, whoâ??s my brother. Heâ??s not the son my parents raised. And why youâ??re flapping your mouth, you need to pay attention to this girlâ?¦.You remember, songbird Lyric?â? I knew he was trying to use that as a code. â??Oh donâ??t even put them two in it!â? Jermaine backs away from Michaelâ??s finger and came over to hug me. â??Call me if you need anythingâ?¦if heâ??s being difficult.â? Then after that he turns around to go to the door. Jermaine just pauses and turns to his brother. â??Michael I wished youâ??d see what I see.â? Then he slams the door after himself. Michael looks back at the door for a few seconds and before Jermaine even got to back out the driveway, Michael turns and faces me again. â??What the hell is he talking about Alaric?â? This wasnâ??t the time to be shrugging and playing dumb. â??I canâ??t tell you Michael.â? After a few moments, he brisk past meâ??I could feel the wind hit meâ??and he slams his door behind him. Of course. After a few minutes, I picked up the cordless phone and as Iâ??m going to stand out front, Iâ??m dialing M.J.â??s number. Guess I owe him that much, eh? â??Hello?â? â??Hey, hey baby,â? I stutter over my words. I donâ??t want to say I called him out of convenience, I just felt he was like this loyal dogâ??a best manâ??s friendâ??because heâ??s always there for me. â??Whatâ??s up, I was just about to call you.â? I did the usual sighing, â??Um, nothing much. I just wanted to tell you that Iâ??ll be leaving in a few days and Iâ??ll be backâ?¦soonâ?¦to you.â? â??Oh yeah, really?â? â??Yeah, really.â? â??Oh so how much youâ??ve missed me?â? I sigh, â??Ohhh M.J.,â? not like heâ??s been on my mind constantly these past few days, â??Iâ??ve REALLY missed you. Iâ??ve been looking forward to going to your basketball games.â? I knew he could tell I was smiling cutely, just for him. â??I KNOW we havenâ??t spent the time weâ??ve should have and baby, I just need you to know that Iâ??m working on it; Iâ??m working for us to spend more time together.â? â??Really. You mean it??â? â??Yeah bae, I do.â? â??Whatever happens to paying attention in school and getting those Aâ??s?â? â??M.J. Iâ??m focused on that. I always do me work and get it done.â? â??What about the SATs?â? â??M.J. thatâ??s taken care of...you know Iâ??m taking that SAT class and I know youâ??ll be in it with me. For once I wanted to talk about usâ?¦do you miss me?â? â??Of COURSE I miss you, but how am I suppose to miss you when youâ??re never wearing your necklace; or I bet â??chu not even wearing your bracelet right now,â? I look down at my wrist. Sure enough Iâ??m not. â??Or youâ??re always hesitating to give us what we REALLY want.â? â??What are you talking about? Not this time M.J., please!â? I whine. â??Look I adore you but I just donâ??t want to talk to you about that right now.â? â??Do you want me?â? â??Whaaat?!â? â??To stay on the phone with you?â? â??Yeees, but I just donâ??tâ??â? â??Say you want me.â? â??Ss-say I WANT you? But WHY? What do you mean?!â? â??Look Lyric Iâ??m sick of being around the motherfucking bush. You know I want to have sex with you. I know youâ??ve been with other guys, but how are you supposed to compare me to those other guys and see that Iâ??m better.â? â??Hold up M.J. Iâ??m donâ??t sleep around.â? I might not be an angel but I donâ??t hit homeruns. â??What I was saying is that I know youâ??ve had other boyfriends. Shit you can have any pick you want, TRUST ME I know, any man knows that, but you just donâ??t know what I got and how much I care about you. Iâ??m not a little boy Lyric, Iâ??m a young man.â? â??That donâ??t make you a GENTLEMAN.â? â??Enough of the bullshit, just say you want me.â? â??Iâ?¦I wanâ?¦wantâ??â? â??SAY it,â? he forcefully says. Through a whisper, I let the words fall from my lips, â??I want you.â? â??Then why are you being a TRAMP?â? â??What are you talking about?!â? More sweat was beginning to gather on my back. â??First off you go behind my back and invite yourself to my best friendâ??s birthday party and whatâ??s this I hear about you going to the beach with Nick Styles on a date with your other friends???! What you think this isâ??a fucking game?!â? â??..Exactly, you hit the nail right on the headâ??J. Ray Ray is your best friend and since you were showing up, how were you going to expect me NOT to want to go. And Nicholas Styles is just dropping me off at the beach.â? â??â??Nicholasâ??? See you even call this mofo by his whole name,â? by now I was beginning to tear up. â??And what, you likinâ?? my boy Ray Ray? You donâ??t think I wasnâ??t suspicious about that damn artwork he gave you?â? â??How did you find out?â? â??Thatâ??s beside the point, you fucking liar!â? â??Stop, stop cussinâ?? me out! Talk to me like you got some sense.â? â??Well hear, listen to this, Iâ??m sick of youâ??re lyinâ??, non-committing ass. And I hope you have fun fucking Michael. I know thatâ??s all yâ??all have been doing. Itâ??s OVER!! AND GIVE ME MY SHIT BACK!â? The phone CRASHES loudly in my ear. â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦ I start to choke on my own deep breaths and go in the house with my hand covered over my mouth and the other was holding the phone. I hadnâ??t hanged it up. I put the phone on the hook and collapsed on the floor to cry. Turns out I couldnâ??t cry the way I was REALLY feeling. One month and seventeen days of time, sweat, and growing feelingsâ?¦now no more, now gone. Justâ?¦blown out of proportion a little. This should have never been over the phone. I was thinking the about that while sitting at the glass table in the kitchen. But right now I need to be calling my grandma and telling her happy birthday. I donâ??t even need to be worrying about my relationshipâ??well broken relationship nowâ??itâ??s a blessing that my grandma even turned 58 today. I should be focusing on that. â??Hello?â? â??Happy Birthday Grandma!!â? â??Thank you! I was beginning to think you were acting funny now since youâ??re on that island with that boy.â? â??I havenâ??t. But now youâ??re the big 5-8!â? â??Sure am. Iâ??m blessed I know I am. Hey Lyric, have you been reading your Bible every day since you been on that island?â? â??Uhâ?¦no.â? â??Well you need toâ?¦.Canâ??t see why your parents let you on that damn island with that boy. And I donâ??t care if he IS Michael Jackson.â? â??Grandma I havenâ??t lost my morals.â? â??YET. Thatâ??s what happen when you get complacent with doing wrongâ?¦.BUT, I already spoke to your parents about it so I guess Iâ??ll let you have fun until you get back in two days.â? â??Thank you. And anyways, howâ??s Auntie and the cuzzos?â? Thatâ??s Angelaâ??s older sister and her children. â??Theyâ??re good. The usual.â? â??Tell them I said hey.â? â??Okay.â? â??And my friendâ?¦Donovan told me to tell you to have a rockinâ?? birthday. Bye.â? â??Whoâ??s he?â? â??You donâ??t need to know. Iâ??ve known him since we were kids..so itâ??s nothing like that.â? â??Un huh, well I GUESS tell him to say thank you.â? â??Okay. Bye.â? â??Bye. Love you.â? â??Love you too.â? Then I do the kiss sound again. She does too. â??Bye.â? â??Bye,â? I say. And I BET she got the last kiss as always. When I walk back into the house, Michael just walked out his room. I could tell because he just stopped in his tracks. â??What? Already making plans with your boyfriend.â? When he said that it all became clear: my relationship status was, no IS single. And I kinda miss him. I run up to Michael and wrap my arms around him and cried in his chest. Michael had to knew. There was no more me and no more M.J. Just Alaric on her own now. 11/12/78-12/29/78. I canâ??t believe that. I never felt Michael move away and that made me feel he was committed to being there for me although Iâ??ve been treating him like shit for a month and seventeen daysâ?¦boy the influences that you are under when youâ??re in a relationship. But when Michael pulled away from me and seemed like he was going to look in my eyes, I turn my head and run to my room. I canâ??t BEAR to see him say â??I told you so.â? I have no time or the heart to receive any â??I told you sos.â? What I did after I closed myself in the room was turn switch my alarm clock so I could listen to the local radio stations and kept the room light out. From listening to songs like â??Could it be Forever?â? by David Cassidy, to â??Pushed Me Awayâ? by the Jacksons. I just kept the songs slow moving so I could easily cry. I had to keep tissue on deck because I had so much snot, and I had to be sure to rub my tears with my hands so I wouldnâ??t irritate my eyes. When I thought I was fine, I rubbed my face with cold water to help with my eyes. But then I saw that damn tape recorder and I couldnâ??t help itâ?¦I tormented myself by listening to it again. And thatâ??s when I came to me, the 4-letter-word is â??loveâ?! M.J., well now â??Marvinâ? to me even repeats it at the end. â??I could just throw this damn thing in the toilet and keep flushing it,â? I bitterly say as I begin to cry again. The phone ring two sets of times and still hadnâ??t gotten answered. â??Oh God who could it BE??â? I was already aggravated. It was like nine oâ??clock now, and I just had a messy break up. I canâ??t even look Michael in the eyes and I refuse to call my â??dadâ? Dad. What more do I need now? I do a huge sniffle before answering. â??Hello?â? â??Hey, uh is this Lyric Swan?â? Who the heck is this voiceâ?¦1, 2, 3, oh yeah! Austin? Austin Haynes? My best friend, Patriciaâ??s boyfriend?? I clear my throat, â??Yeah, this is she speaking. Whatâ??s going on Austin?â? â??Well itâ??s pretty obvious that our girl friends arenâ??t acting the same and since youâ??re not here, itâ??s pretty obvious that it must be about you. While theyâ??re mad, us boys donâ??t know WHAT the heck is going on. Weâ??re just there for the support.â? â??Whatâ??s going on?â? â??Well for example, Pattie isnâ??t close to me like she usually is; Sherry never says anything anyway but sheâ??s been a little different too; and Danielle has been nearly M.I.A. since she doesnâ??t like Jerome the way he likes her. Now I donâ??t know whatâ??s going on between you and your boyfriend, but Patricia is worried.â? â??Thereâ??sâ?¦â? â??What?â? â??â?¦â? do I really need to tell him over the phone like this? Because if I do heâ??ll tell the othersâ?¦.Might as well. He knows by my hesitation. â??Thereâ??s no more â??usâ?? Austin. HEâ?¦he just broke up with me today. So thereâ??s no need to worry. They got what they wanted. I barely care how you phrase it to themâ?¦itâ??s just me now, Austinâ?¦me and my friends now.â? â??Well no need to be sadâ?¦for TOO long. Weâ??ve gotâ??chur back; I gotâ??chur back; Michael gotâ??chur back; your parents gotâ??chur back; your grandma gotâ??chur back; your dogâ??â? â??Okay Austin,â? I actually laugh. â??I get the point.â? â??Hey was that a laugh I detected, I know that was a laugh I detected. I know Iâ??m not deaf!â? I laugh some more, â??Youâ??re not deaf Austin. That youâ??re not.â? After he finishes laughing, he talks again. â??Lyric, right now itâ??ll seem tough and youâ??ll never be able to walk out your house again because YOUâ??RE the one that got dumped, but hey, life moves on. Thatâ??s just the way it isâ?¦.You remember my round wired-rimmed glasses like Arthur?â? â??I donâ??t remember Arthur from Marc Brownâ??s book having glasses.â? â??Oh no, I was talking about my cousin. But remember when Patricia wouldnâ??t even look at me? My haircut was terrible.â? I laughed, â??Yeah, you were always nerdy and quiet. It wasnâ??t like you were ugly; you just needed those glasses to be moved so your real face could show.â? â??And when I finally got the confidence to flirt with Pat, she became my girlfriend this past summer.â? â??But Austin, she already liked you.â? â??The moral of the story is that life plays with you to get you to the point that IT wants you to be at.â? â??â?¦Yeah, I see what you mean.â? But how is this supposed to make me happy? Patricia is happy with her cute boyfriend and Iâ??m alone and confused. â??You just gotta keep your head up. You have a beautiful soul so I donâ??t see why youâ??re not in a long relationship.â? â??Yeahâ?¦me either. I guess my soul is just a little twisted and dark.â? â??No..no that isnâ??t it. Youâ??re just not with the right people you know?â? â??Yeah.â? â??And I was also calling because I know not everyoneâ??Jerome and Sherryâ??hasnâ??t called so I decided I needed to yâ??know. Youâ??re my friend too.â? â??What about that beach party on Thursday?â? â??Oh itâ??s going to be far out! Iâ??m going to attempt to grill for all those people. Hope to see you there wearing something cool to go with your pretty face.â? â??Oh thanks Austin.â? I know he doesnâ??t know WHO Iâ??ll be going with. â??But Iâ??ll be there.â? â??Hey while youâ??re here, I wrote this song called â??For You I Willâ?? and I made it for Patricia. I plan to perform it on the 4th.â? â??Yeah? Howâ??s it go?â? I hear Austin string his guitar. â??Wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet As what canâ??t ha-ave Like you and the way that youâ??re twisting your hair â??round your fin-gerr Tonight Iâ??m not afraid to tell youâ?¦ What I feel about youâ? When Austin begins the chorus I freeze as I can feel the tenderness he has for Patricia. I bite my thumbnail and although I didnâ??t want to, I resented the past for a reason. Fate doesnâ??t make sense: while theyâ??re with each other, Iâ??m listening to a song thatâ??s not even directed to meâ?¦.I mean while Patricia made fun of him, I was his friend. â??So what do you think about it??â? â??Sheâ??ll love it Austin. Youâ??ll get brownie points with her Iâ??m sure.â? â??Thatâ??s great! And Iâ??ll break the news to them unless you want to.â? â??Hmmâ?¦Iâ??m not sure you. I hadnâ??t thought about it. Why donâ??t you tell them yourself? I donâ??t care.â? â??Okay. And do what you have to to move on from this hard break up. Bye Lyr-Lyr.â? I laughed. â??Okay. Bye Austin.â? I look up towards my window when I hear the thick rain. Just enough to propel my tears once againâ?¦.Then I have a flashback so hang on tight for another oneâ?¦ I might have moved during the seventh grade year and wasnâ??t always with my friends but when I did visit during the breaks, I saw them. First off, I knew Patricia and Danielle more, and Sherry was still new. But then there was Jerome. I already knew him. SOMETIMES, Iâ??d see the smart Indian kid, named Donovan. I KNEW of the stuck up kid named Nick. But then there was the quiet, pale boy with the dark brown hair thatâ??s easily mistaken to be pitch black, and light blue eyes, but they were covered by his glasses. And to add more to this boy, he was a Boysâ?? Scout. This well-to-do mamaâ??s boy who my friend thought was weak and scrawny. But this duck turned into a swan in the course of high school. But I couldnâ??t like him because a friend of mine liked him although the rumor mill said otherwiseâ?¦. I grabbed my stomach then. Whenever I think like that my stomach churns so thatâ??s why I donâ??t think like that anymore. Another reason liking Donovan became so easy. It was him or Donovan and since the other one wasnâ??t worth likingâ?¦I guess I went after Donovanâ?¦? â??I let it fallâ??my heart And as it fell, you rose to claaaim it It was dark and I was overrr Until you kissed my lips and you saaved me My handsâ??they were strong, but my kneees were far too weeaak To stand in your arms without faaallingto your feeeet But thereâ??s a side to you that I never knew, never knew All the things youâ??d sayâ??they were never true, never true And the games youâ??d play, you would always win, always wiiinnâ? While my head was till popped up, I just stopped. I couldnâ??t think of what else to say. The song didnâ??t even make sense. I guess it was because I was so frustrated. The meaning has a double meaning I think. One is about a person playing with my heart and doing me wrong, while the other guy picked me up while I was downâ?¦but I could never have him. Heâ??s off limits nowâ?¦not that I WANT himâ?¦but Iâ??ll never know you know? And with this thunderstorm coming in, it was just the RIGHTFUL setting. My juices were flowing. Just thinking back to occasional jokes weâ??d have and seeing her upset and finally realizing, Damn, she really has a crush on him. I have to back upâ?¦because thatâ??s what friends are for, right? Plus I had a crush on Donovan too, so I had to basically choose him. THERE was no other choice. Taking his advice, although I already KNEW I was going to do it, I got up, change my underwear to the boy shorts Michael got me. Wiped my arm pits with my t-shirt, took a quick-ass shower, put on a sports bra because I felt it was more durable although a regular one was more â??pointyâ?, put on another t-shirt, checked my hair, gargled my mouth three times, moisturized my lips with Chap Stick, and walked towards Michaelâ??s room. He was sitting on the bed watching T.V. until he looked up at me. Before I lost my nerve, I quickly walked towards him, lifted his head and kissed him in the mouth. It seemed like the longest time until we stopped. Michaelâ??s eyes were wide while I was breathing hard. I lean in again and he follows. This time he lays back with his left hand on my waist and the other on my back. Thinking back on those times I WANTED or actually DID kiss him, I never did it this wayâ??so strong and strident. Then he sits up and I sit on his lap but our mouths are still connected. Michael pulls away and looks down as he rubs the bottom-half of my leg with the cast on it. This time I look for his eyes but he kept averting them. â??Whatâ??s wrong Michael?â? â??You know whatâ??s wrongâ?¦â? he mumbles. â??Itâ??s not like you didnâ??t like it.â? Michael looks at me, grabs my chin, gives me a smooch with his tongue out a little, then gets up. â??You know why this is wrong.â? He starts to slowly pace the room with his hands on the back of his afro. â??I donâ??t even suppose to like you. You wonâ??t make it any easier if youâ??re pulling stunts like these.â? â??Look, I got your boy shorts on,â? then I turned and bent down momentarily so he could see the blue panties with the red writing. â??Lyric, I donâ??t need to see you in THEM.â? â??But look,â? I get up and press him on the wall. â??Iâ??ll be eighteen before you know it.â? â??What does THAT suppose to mean?â? He really began to look scared. â??That means I know you like me. Youâ??re attracted TO me. And you want MORE of me.â? â??Look, youâ??ve mustâ??ve bumped your head, but Iâ??m not the one.â? He tried to move away, but I stepped in his wayâ?¦and I put my cast over his foot. â??Please.â? I beg through a whisper and a tear. When he just stands there looking at me, I reach up and kiss him again. â??I know you wanted to that other day when you found me drunk after the partyâ?¦and when we were in the waterâ?¦and when you saw me in my bathing suit.â? Michael had already picked me up and laid me back on the bed even though I was mumbling while we were kissing. When I got him on his back again, this time I sat on the end of his stomach, but I was really trying to miss his groin area. His hands were on my waist and I leaned down to kiss him more. â??Why are you doing this?â? â??Iâ??ve BEEN wanting to do this Michael.â? â??Youâ??re too young.â? â??Never stopped Romeo and Juliet.â? And I kept giving him pecks. â??Donâ??t put themâ?¦in this.â? I stop and look down to his eyes. Then I lay beside him and begin to play in his hair. â??What are you doing?â? â??Trying to see if I can get my hands STUCK in your hair.â? â??WHY?â? â??Because my hairâ??s not like that and Iâ??m JEALOUS.â? â??Well I like how yours wereâ?¦well I liked it better before you got it cut shorter and the color change and the different curls. I liked the looser, wavier curls, you know?â? â??Iâ??ll get it back that way when the color fades and my hair will grow back.â? Michael rubs his right thumb across the edge of my hair and pecked me again. â??So you got to know about me.â? â??Un huh.â? â??Well I wanna know more about you.â? â??Oh Michael why!â? I whine. â??Thereâ??s no buts. You got an unfair advantage to know about me so tell ME something interesting about yourself.â? I sit there biting my finger. â??Just anythingâ?¦.â? â??Um well on my father sideâ?¦â? â??Un huh?â? â??My grandfather is mixed.â? â??Yeah with what?â? â??Black and white. My great-grandfather is white. I donâ??t always see him or my grandfather, Jerry, so certain facts get mixed up. He was born in 1896, I believe, and Grandaddy Jerry was born during World War I. I think he was the first child. He fought right after Clarence was born. By the way, he has an older brother by two years named Adam Charles Swan, but I call him Uncle Charley, and a younger sister. My dadâ??s momâ??s name is Rebecca.â? â??So you have white lineage in your family?â? â??My granddaddy is half, my dad is twenty-five percent, so Iâ??m 12.5 percent. I mean Grandaddy Cliffordâ??Angelaâ??s dadâ??is lighter than my Grandma Janice.â? â??Oh.â? â??So it kinda runs in the family. That I know of, Big Cliff is just of African descent, but heâ??s a little lighter than Grandma Janice.â? â??Oh.â? â??I shouldâ??ve never said anything.â? â??Why not?â? â??I meant that was so random Michael.â? â??Well I wanna know about you. Your father didnâ??t mention that to me.â? â??He doesnâ??t TALK about it. He wonâ??t immediate, but I think itâ??s because the world sees him as a black man and when heâ??s treated like that, he doesnâ??t remember his grandfather and I think heâ??s a bit resentful OF that. Plus his father is mixed or mulattoâ??depending on the person I guess they like to be called a certain termâ??so it was hard on HIM. He didnâ??t always get treated equally and HE was in the army.â? â??Looks like you got a lot to live up to.â? I nod my head. â??I do.â? Then I look down and Michael grabs something. â??I KNEW I was forgetting something and it DAWNED on me.â? Michael shaked it real quick and handed it to me. So I did the same and unwrapped it. It was in a white box. â??A tape recorder?â? I leaned my head to the side. â??You might not think Iâ??m paying attention to you, but I think you have some singing abilities. You might have a talent that I donâ??t even know about. So what helps me is a tape recorder. I bought one of your own.â? â??Wow Michaelâ?¦.â? â??Iâ??m serious!â? â??Thank you!!â? then I leaned in, wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips on him again. â??I hope youâ??d enjoy it.â? â??Guess I donâ??t have a choice now,â? I mumbled. I showed Michael a lot of love tonight, and I know he knew, so I was overjoyed when we just sat on the bedâ??Michael laying against the pillows and the headboard with my back leaned into himâ??and we just watched some T.V. with the fan on. Sometimes Michael would kiss my cheek. Once it was my neck. After those times, I leaned my head back, grabbed his and kissed him. He still looks shocked by it and even I canâ??t believe what Iâ??m doing. â??Damn itâ??s about twelve. I guess I need to go.â? Usually Michael probably wouldâ??ve said, â??Oh you donâ??t have to. You can stay!!â? but since thereâ??s so much sensual tension in the air, I donâ??t think I could. I donâ??t think he could afford me to. Iâ??m a little afraid of whatâ??ll happen. â??You donâ??t have to curse about it.â? â??You donâ??t have to swear about it,â? I mocked him as usual. As Iâ??m getting off the bed, I grabbed the recorder, and when I get to his doorframe, I lean in and kiss him again. â??Guess Iâ??ll see you in the morning.â? Michael hands me the box that the tape recorder gave me. â??Donâ??t get cocky with your kissing Swan. You know I canâ??t do that WITH you.â? â??But you want to Jackson. Youâ??d be CRAZY not to.â? The second part I was joking with him. â??You say that but,â? he sighs and attempts to put his hands in his pockets. I bite my bottom lip. â??Some things you want to do now Lyric isnâ??t always appropriate. You want to do things when itâ??s right.â? I walk away, â??You probably think Iâ??m a slut. You probably think Iâ??m a confused slut.â? Michael goes up and takes ahold of my waist. â??STOP downing yourself Lyric. Just because Iâ??m not saying I want to be with you in those different intimate areasâ??from hugs to kisses to cuddling or even sexâ??doesnâ??t mean I donâ??t care about you. I think my patience shows you my strength the MOST that I care about you. I treat you delicately because for one, you ARE delicate, but youâ??re very fragile too. Youâ??re this little fragileâ?¦instrument, this fragile clarinet Iâ??m trying to fix.â? â??And youâ??re just my musician, my instrumental repairer manâ??trying to tune me out.â? I smiled. Michael rubs my face with his thumb again. I put my arms around his neck again while his fists braced the wall, so that meant his arms were on my sides. â??Please Lyric, donâ??t do this to us.â? I licked my lips and looked him in the eyes. â??Okay.â? â??Youâ??re alright?â? â??Iâ??m fine.â? I give him a closed-tooth smile, walked underneath his arm, and went to my room. I sat down on my bed. Then I laid down as I began to think of all the boy trouble Iâ??ve gone through SINCE Iâ??ve met Michael. From still trying to get pass my childish crush on Michael; to wondering should I give Donovan and I chanceâ??well knowing in all hearts of hearts that I SHOULD. But I was increasingly feeling that way about Michael although there was basically no way that could ever happen. Clarence, knowing that heâ??s cursed with a beautiful daughter, has invested trust in Michael and REFUSES to let him get that close to me. Then there was Marvin. I knew that there was things about he that was in question and I refused to look at them because I wanted so much to be happy and I thought he was INSANELY fine. Now Nick, well heâ??s like a booty call, I donâ??t even consider him to be a boyfriend of mine. He HASNâ??T been and he WONâ??T be. Oh God, then Tiger Tsunamiâ??he was my â??out-litâ? when I was in Cleveland but I donâ??t want to think about him. Then oh God, Dylan Cooperâ?¦.Let that motherfucker die and go to hell. â??Young love? Iâ??m SICK of it!!â? So I began writing in the notebook Donovan gave me. Then thatâ??s when this drum beat came to my ears and I started hearing this bass. Then this funky music came. So grabbing my tape recorder I say: â??Young love, young love Young love, young loveâ? Simply. Then I begin to speak from the heart. â??I may be young, but I'm not foolish I can tell real love from a game I'm not gonna let you use me Heartbreak playmates, shares not the same Young love, ring around the roses Young love, searchin' for a heart so true Young love, a pocket full of poses Young love, all adds up to me and you I traded all my childish treasures For a burnin' love so true It's gonna be my first time around Heartbreak's high game, low shake you down Young love, ring around the roses Young love, searching for a heart so true Young love, a pocket full of poses Young love, all adds up to me and you Young love, ring around the roses Young love searchin' for a heart so true Young love, a pocket full of poses Young love, all adds up to me and you Young love, young love, hey love, young love Young love, young love, hey love, young love Young love, young love, hey love, young love I may be young, but I'm not foolish young love I can tell real love from a game, young love I'm not gonna let you use me, young love Heartbreak playmates, shares not the same, young love Young love, ring around the roses Young love, searchin' for a heart so true Young love, a pocket full of poses Young love, it all adds up to me and you Hey love, young love, hey hey young love, hey love Young love, ring around the roses Young love, searchin' for a heart so true Young love, a pocket full of poses Young love, it all adds up to me and you Young love, hey love, young love, whoo, whoo young love, yeah Young love, searchin' for a heart so true Young love, a pocket full of poses Young love, it all adds up to me and you Young love, young love, young love, young love (Di da da da di da da)â? â??Seems like I found the song for Hugh!â? ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ Guess whatâ??s going to happen next? -Luv Aariyan **& Happy Belated 84th Birthday to Joseph!! All credit goes where itâ??s due :) â??For You I Willâ? by Teddy Geiger â??Set Fire to the Rainâ? Adele (although it's not finished yet in the story :D) And the third one goes to Janet Jackson, but of course it'll all make sense later :D! &nd thank you for the votes and support guys. I love y'all!!
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