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Tough Love Part 92; Part 1
Chapter 92; Part 1 Hard Questions to Ask. I was still sleeping, but it was like 4 A.M. when I kept HEARING this ringing in my ear. I finally open only my right eye, then recognize that I was actually hearing the PHONE RING! I perk up from my pillow and answer the phone nearly out of breath but trying to keep my composure. â??Hey M.J. how are you doing? Are you okay?â? Momentarily silence. â??This is no M.Jâ?¦.â? Ohâ?¦interesting enough, it was Nick on the phone. â??Ohâ?¦hey. Sorry about.â? â??No need to apologize.â? I donâ??t know why heâ??s calling me now. I know Hawaii has its own time zone, and even if it is whatever time in California, itâ??s still the crack of dawn here. â??Soâ?¦whatâ??s up? SOMETHING has to be going on for you to call me this early.â? Or should I say late? â??Nothingâ?¦I just wanted to talk to you,â? that smile was in his voice again. â??What about?â? I say as Iâ??m starting to sit-up. â??I donâ??t knowâ?¦.Iâ??ve just been missing you; I canâ??t forget your lips.â? I smile in the dark, not forgetting that incident either. â??Have you been thinking about mine?â? he tentatively asks me. â??Iâ??ve been trying not to,â? I admit. â??I just know it might lead to something.â? I honestly say. â??Thatâ??s why you donâ??t want to think about it?â? â??â?¦.â? I take a deep breath, â??Yeah.â? â??Well I havenâ??t forgotten about you. I didnâ??t make that promise for nothing Lyric. I REALLY miss you, and I canâ??t wait for you to get back.â? How am I supposed to respond to this? Does he think Iâ??m going to say, â??And I canâ??t wait to get back?â? What does Nick really expect to say. â??Wellâ?¦I guess a trip to the movies canâ??t be TOO bad.â? Or would it be? I start to think because I know Nick can be a little hands-on. â??No, or just join me to a picnic with our friends on the beach. It doesnâ??t have to be anything special.â? â??When is it?â? â??I forgot, but I have to check back on that date.â? I wonder if he likes me so much, why canâ??t this be a real date? â??I donâ??t consider this a date because in all honesty, I just want you to start being comfortable around me. I know Iâ??ve been an ass TOWARDS you, and I just want to redeem myself.â? Wellâ?¦M.J. IS acting up. Dad wouldnâ??t let me date Michael. And Iâ??m not so sure about Dylan Cooper. Thatâ??s over-stepping. Plus Nick IS adorable. I think itâ??d be interesting to AT LEAST try it out. Then I hear his breathing. I can tell heâ??s a little nervous for my answer. I smile, â??Sure Nick, Iâ??ll go with you.â? â??Just remember though, Iâ??m just picking you up.â? â??But itâ??s not a date?â? I ask suspiciously and sarcastically. â??No because I like my dates to be more intimate.â? What?! I think he just missed his rhetoric mark. â??I mean that I like things like cooking dinner and inviting you to the house to share it with me. I like one-on-one things, thatâ??s all.â? â??Thatâ??s all?â? â??Well a little kissing and fondling. I donâ??t know. I just do whatâ??s on my heart right then. But you can always tell me to stop. I donâ??t want to go too far since weâ??re not allowed to be a virgin more than once.â? I laugh at Nickâ??s wittiness. â??I guess so.â? I look at my clock, then yawn again. â??Well what have you been up to? OTHER than thinking about me,â? I quickly add-in. â??Nothing really special. Probably why I had a lot of time to think about you.â? â??Well thatâ??s niceâ?¦I guess.â? â??Yeah, well what you been up to with Michael?â? I donâ??t want to give him all the dets because Iâ??ve enjoyed my time with Michael, and I donâ??t want to give it away. â??Itâ??s been good. Heâ??s fun.â? From there, Nick and I talked a little over an hour about whatever that was on our mindâ??laughing most of the time. He could hear it in my voice that heâ??d awaken me. He seemed tired also. â??Hey, sorry I woke you up so early.â? â??Yeah, itâ??s damn near five,â? though it was AFTER five, â??and will cost Michael a hella lot for this long distance call.â? â??Fine, Iâ??ll hang up so you can get your beautiful rest,â? thereâ??s that smile in his voice again. â??Okay, talk to you later, love.â? â??Donâ??t forget me.â? then he hangs up. Iâ??m left with thinking, easier said than done. But as I try going back to sleep, Iâ??m thinking too much, so I huff, then get up from my pillow. I was about to pick out something to wear and take a shower, but I my door opens. Michael is under the doorstep, smiling at me. I bite my lip quickly, â??What are YOU smiling about?â? â??I see youâ??re already up.â? â??And YOUâ??RE coincidentally already up?â? I raise my eyebrow. â??I heard you laughing on the phone.â? â??Yeah?â? I say, tensing up. â??So I decide to investigate.â? â??Yeah?â? I say again. When he doesnâ??t say anymore, I look around the room, searching for words to say. â??Well Michael if you want,â? I pat where I was in the bed and scoot over to make room for him. He hesitates, but I donâ??t want I want anything special from him. After looking at the floor, he walks in and pushes the door after him. I go to turn the TV down some so we can hear each other, but he takes it from my hand and turn it up a little louder than it first was. I know weâ??re both lost about what to talk about, so I brought my knees up to me chest underneath the covers and rested my back against the headboard. For some reason though, I kept eyeing everything Michael would doâ?¦like his eye movements. â??Whatâ??s wrong with you?â? He asks in this funny tone. â??Nothing,â? I smile. â??I just like looking at you.â? â??I wonder why.â? I smile again. â??I just do.â? Michael throws his arm out to me and wraps it around my shoulder. As weâ??re leaning against our knees, which were propped underneath our chins, Michael says, â??Well I like looking at you too.â? When my caught-off-guard expression looked at him, he only once in a knowingly way. â??You know I do,â? he softly nudges me. Though I shouldnâ??t be, Iâ??m speechless, so I just look forward. Eventually I look at Michael again, and his eyes look heavy. They seem restless, but only because he looks like something is on his mind. Michael finally says something. â??Youâ??re really close to your father.â? â??Yeah, isnâ??t that obvious?â? My head lies on his shoulder briefly as I laugh. I start to play with my fingers until I hear Muhammad Aliâ??s voice. I look up to the TV, and there was the interview from last year where Muhammad talked about different social issues. â??I remember paying attention to this so much and eventually calling Dad on it.â? Michael looks at me. â??Really?â? I look down. â??You knowâ?¦my dad fought in Vietnam early in his police career. I remember him being away and Mom being stressed out.â? I looked at him. â??I had to be about four when he went off to the war.â? I clench onto my knees. Then I smile at Muhammadâ??s brashness. â??He reminds me a lot of my grandfather, Clifford.â? â??How did you feel as a four-year-old? I know you didnâ??t understand much, but how was it for you?â? â??I guessâ?¦like emptiness inside me. But it was harder on Dad. I remember hearing him tell Mom this, but later on, heâ??d tell me how gory it was and he hated it. Dad doesnâ??t like war. It was torment for him, but he didnâ??t have to stay there too long. Right after he came back, he got back to his work and kinda shutted us out from his world.â? â??Do you think it was traumatic for him?â? â??I think mildly. Sometimes I think thatâ??s why he freaks out on the spot. I think itâ??s something heâ??s recovered from, but Iâ??m not sure when he freaks out. Youâ??ve seen it before so you know what Iâ??m talking about.â? â??Youâ??re not that bad.â? â??And youâ??re just saying that,â? I basically cut the end of Michaelâ??s sentence. â??Well you have some reason tooâ?¦your life has beenâ?¦.INTERESTING to me so far. â??And I bet it has.â? â??Thatâ??s probably why Clarence told me he wasnâ??t there for Christmas when you were four.â? â??Yepâ?¦the army. But enough about me. I wanna know about YOU Michaelâ? â??What about me?â? â??About what other people donâ??t know about you. Not just general knowledge you could say. I want you to tell me about your family.â? I laid my head into my left hand as I turn towards Michael. he starts to squirm and look aggravated. â??Why do you do that every time I ask about you like that? I barely spare you any details and you wanna do that to me?! For what?!â? â??Okay! Okay.â? â??Because you never finished explaining that to me in New York.â? Then Michael pats his lap. I hesitate as I give him a disfigured expression. I try to stay put, but Michael is apparently imperative, so I give an uneasy sigh, but I scoot on over underneath the covers. If this makes him explain things easier, then Iâ??m willing to sit here. â??I say itâ??ll be still be easier if youâ??d just tell me where you want me to start from.â? â??Oh geez Michael, I guess Iâ??d wanna know how you dealt with interviews. There were times when you werenâ??t shy at all around people like Bob Hope and Flip Wilson. Those times I LOVED. I just CRAVED YOU! Then you got olderâ?¦and quieter to me in my opinion. Michael, I kinda felt like you cheated me out of a childhood and childhood crush. On the days I shouldâ??ve been reading â??How to Kill a Mockingbirdâ??, I was too busy watching you.â? â??Why you paid so much attention to me?!â? â??Because Michael you were the littlest.â? â??Randyâ??s closer in age to you.â? â??But Iâ??ve been told I like older guysâ?¦.Thatâ??s something Iâ??ve noticed thatâ??s true about me.â? Michael is silent for a moment and bit his lip. â??I guess it was teen years.â? He looks away from me, â??I suffered from acne obviously.â? He throws his arms up in exasperation. â??â?¦.You did?â? â??I did. And the media. Publicity. I couldnâ??t experience dating Tatum without the public knowing. Do you know how hard that is?â? he looks at me. â??With people judging our relationship.â? Why does Michael always put Tatum in our discussions? â??Do you miss her Michael?â? â??Why would you say that about me?â? â??Michael,â? I say matter-of-factly, â??when we talk like this, Iâ??ve noticed you have the tendency to bring Tatum up.â? â??Some of those times youâ??ve initiated it.â? â??But I still feel youâ??re hung up about her.â? â??But Iâ??m sitting here with you. And Iâ??d like to answer questions about myself.â? He looks at me head-on. â??So fire away!â? I know this is to be a sentimental point right now, but I didnâ??t know what to say. â??Come on Lyric, ask me something.â? Michael squeezes my side a little. When I look at him, heâ??s smiling encouragingly. I get off his lap and sit next to Michael again with my knees hunched up under my chin. â??Why do you really choose to watch after me? I know Iâ??m a handful.â? â??That doesnâ??t faze me.â? â??Iâ??ve already came to the revelationâ?¦that you also moved out to exert your freedom. I know that has to be a reason.â? â??Right.â? â??Because of â??The Wizâ??.â? â??Yeah.â? â??Butâ?¦were you looking for something else when you decided to move in with us? How long are you supposed to be here with us?â? â??Why are you worried about that?â? â??I just wanna know Michaelâ?¦.Iâ??m not dumb. I want to brace myself for when you DO go. I donâ??t want this spectacular person to walk out of my life and I be so naïve to numb myself and act like things wonâ??t change for me. I know the day will come Michael. I just need to know for myself.â? â??Donâ??t worry Lyric.â? I can tell he was looking at me and wanted me to look his way, but I wouldnâ??t. â??And next youâ??ll get married. Youâ??re the next in line Michael, other than if La Toya gets married before you, youâ??ll STILL be the next when it comes to order of kids.â? â??Why are you so worried?â? I look in Michaelâ??s eyes as I struggle to swallow my gathering mucus and control my tiny tears welling up in my eyes. â??Because Michael when you doâ?¦when you do, I donâ??t know if Iâ??ll be able to accept it. Things would never be the same for usâ?¦.i donâ??t know if I would ever forgive you.â? â??For following getting married?â? â??For following your heart.â? I clarify for him. â??But donâ??t you like Randy?â? Michael gives a fake chuckle. â??Heâ??s closer in age to you.â? â??I know Michaelâ?¦but I donâ??t know Randy that well.â? Then my eyes zoom down to the bed. â??How could you say all this but you just had me sitting on your lap Michael? Your words and actions never add up.â? â??I donâ??t need this. This is bogus. Just ask Randy out on a date. Heâ??d love that from you!â? â??Well why didnâ??t HE ask me to Hawaii.â? â??Becauseâ?¦yâ??all are too young to be here alone. Heâ??s shy and Iâ??m here to see if youâ??re suitable for him.â? â??So the real reason weâ??re here is to see if Iâ??m suitable for Randy?â? â??Right.â? â??And why should I be convinced?â? â??Because itâ??s the truth.â? Then the phone rings. â??I donâ??t know who this is but Iâ??ll answer.â? â??Okay,â? I say while I watch Michael pick up the telephone. â??Hello?â? A smile spreads across his face. â??Hey Erms!â? My heart skips a beat for some reason and I know my eyes starts to scatter around the room. Now I wish Michael would take his conversation somewhere else. My palms get a little sweaty. After a few minutes of Michael being on the phone as I look around the room, Michael makes a proclamation. â??Hey Jermaine, hold on, Iâ??ll be right back.â? â??Okay.â? Jermaine says. Michael gets up and walks into the bathroom. Instead of using it, I see him look into the mirror. For some reason, I keep looking at the phone, wondering what if I DID speak to him. Maybe my speaking to him will make me feel better and I wonâ??t have to worry about being so stiff around him. I lean forward and tentatively start to pick up the phone. Then I decide to just grab it. â??Jermaine?â? â??Hello?â? â??This is Lyric.â? â??Oh hey! What are you doing up so early?â? â??Nothing,â? Michael peers into the room. â??Iâ??m just up. I was talking with Michael.â? â??Oh really....Well are you having fun?â? â??Yep. I am. But why are you up so early yourself?â? â??No reason. Just gotta be up early to make this music.â? â??Oh I see.â? â??What were you and Michael talking about?â? â??I wanted to know about your family, so I was asking him.â? â??Got much information?â? â??Annh, not that much. He seems a bit tight-lipped about it but I donâ??t know why. Itâ??s not like things had to be that bad for yâ??all, right?â? At least that what I want to believe. â??Right.â? â??So I donâ??t know why your brother doesnâ??t want to explain to me.â? â??Well donâ??t worry, okay. The earth isnâ??t going to fall off its axis.â? â??Iâ??d hope not,â? a smile is in my voice. â??Well donâ??t worry about it little Pretty Lady. Iâ??m sure my brother will tell you something you wanna know. I promise.â? â??I wish I could say the same Jermaine.â? â??Hey, let me get the phone again.â? I barely had the chance to scoot out the way before Michael sits in the bed as he talks to his brother again while facing away from me. A few minutes later, he hangs up and pulls the covers to his hips. â??Iâ??m just glad youâ??re not eight years older.â? â??Why?â? â??Because you would be closer in age to Jermaine.â? I roll my eyes as nudge Michael. â??Iâ??m telling the truth. If you were older, Iâ??d be competing for you WITH him!â? â??Michael itâ??s only a configuration of your imagination.â? â??Whatever. And I wish the same thing, too.â? We keep going back and forth like this until Michael decides to go back in his room to get ready for the day, so I decide to do the same. That was until I had another question to ask him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ More to come :D -Yours truly, Aariyan
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